What the Hell Theater - 10/29

Victoria Clapham and Bridget Masters will be in court today to answer charges they brawled at a bar last year over who looked better in a silver dress. The bloody fight started in the bathroom after Clapham allegedly told Masters the silver dress looked better on her. She had no idea her boyfriend once dated Masters and had previously given her the dress before taking it back. Both women smashed glasses over each other's heads before being charged and taken to the hospital.

Mohamed Rafi was recently arrested for smuggling 2,000 diamonds in his stomach. He was stopped by customs officails while exiting an Indian airport. At first, the 35 year-old denied being a smuggler and dared the police to search him. Cops tookhim to a hospital where X-rays showed the stones lodged in his stomach. Rafi swallowed the diamonds in 42 condoms. It took the police six hours to retrieve the stones after they fed Rafi laxatives and bananas. He was paid $10,000 to be a smuggler.

What the Hell Theater - 10/28

The Simcoe, Ontario, Canada police recently arrested a 30 year-old man for trying to purchase a Little Caesar's pizza with marijuana. Cops charged the man with public drunkenness and drug possession.


Clifford Adams Jr. was recently charged with endangering the welfare of a child. The 63 year-old took four kids to Allentown's Dorney Park theme park before he lost track of the two 9 year-olds he was watching. Adams tied his 2 and 7 year-old nephews to a park bench before going to look for the other boys. Dorney Park security untied the youngest boy, who was left on the bench with his 7-year-old brother.

What the Hell Theater - 10/27

A 16-year-old girl Crystal Lake, Illinois girl is ok after crashing her Lexus into a home. The unidentified teen was texting and driving when she careened across a lawn and slammed into a house. Nobody was injured. The teen was cited for improper use of an electronic communication device and failing to reduce speed to avoid a collision.

Russian bears are so desperate for food they are opening coffins and eating dead bodies. Two women were recently visiting a cemetery when they saw what they thought was a man in a fur coat perched over a grave. When they got closer they realized it was a hungry bear.

Got your pumpkin yet?

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What the Hell Theater - 10/26

A Fond du Lac, Wisconsin man is being investigated for allegedly taking his child to a dominatrix sex party. His ex-girlfriend called the police last week after she found a videotape that showed him in a dungeon-themed suite with another man and three women. A two year-old child was also shown. The video featured the women whipping the men in a sexual manner. The police report says the child was not involved in the acts.

73-year-old Edwin Fry, of Hydro, Oklahoma, was jailed after using bolt cutters to spring his dog from the pound. Instead of paying a $100 fine for not having his poodle on a leash, the senior drove his lawnmower to the city pound and broke into his dog's cage with bolt cutters. The pair were intercepted by police.

What the Hell Theater - 10/25

Thomas Goulet was recently charged with assault with a sandwich. The 40 year-old Berwick, Maine man was ordering lunch at Duston's Bakery & Deli when he took a phone call and then became angry when a clerk failed to finish making his order. He threw one of his sandwiches at her face before leaving. The clerk called 911 and told cops she couldn't complete Goulet's order because he was on the phone. He was arrested for simple assault.

London librarian Graham Barker recently set a new Guinness Book of World Records record for collecting the most belly button lint. It took him 26 years to collect 22.1 grams. The 45-year-old says he plucks the 'fluff' while he waits for his shower to warm up. "I noticed the lint in my navel and became curious as to how much of it one person can produce. I decided the only way to find out was to collect it for a while and see.

What the Hell Theater - 10/22

The Joliet, Illinois police recently arrested Andrew P. Berkos for impersonating a police officer. The 26 year-old walked into a McDonald’s and flashed a piece of paper with a Department of Defense seal in order to get a free hamburger. Employees didn’t believe him and called police. Berkos is on parole from sentences for felony retail theft and credit card fraud convictions.

Airline authorities have revealed that a plane crashed in the Congo in August after a crocodile escaped from a duffle bag. The beast caused a stampede in the cabin, which in turn, threw the aircraft off-balance. Pilots Danny Philemotte and Chris Wilson did everything they could to keep the jet airborne. It crashed into a house just a few hundred feet from its destination. One passenger and the croc survived. The croc was later killed with machete.

What the Hell Theater

Sharon R. Glover is recovering from falling out of a motor home. She and her friends were driving down Interstate 10 in Florida when she walked to the rear of the motor home to use the restroom, opened the wrong door and fell out. Her friends told police she had been drinking.

Ongley Raymond Ocon III was recently arrested after admitting he was carrying drugs. The 19 year-old had just left a party in San Carlos, California when he asked an officer for a ride home. When asked if he was carrying anything illegal, Ocon said YES, but then paused and said NO. Ocon was searched and then charged with felony possession of cocaine.

Fetch Fail

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What the Hell Theater - 10/20

Dustin Matthew Marshall may be the dumbest crook on the planet. The 20 year-old recently walked into a Gallatin, Tennessee Wal-Mart where he slipped on a pair of jeans before leaving. Cops were able to easily track him down and arrest him because he left his old jeans and wallet behind.

 

The world's first topless hair salon has opened in Australia. Four twentysomethings opened the spa and cut hair while wearing Daisy Dukes and sexy panties. On some mornings, men line up around the block for a cut. Owner Wojtek Wasilewski says, "I wanted to make the salon like a gentlemen's club. Business is booming. The phone has been ringing off the hook. I'm not surprised. They are stunning girls."

London's eWaterways is offering the world's first nude cruise. They plan to sail through the Adriatic Sea and visit nude beaches. A company rep says, "Naturist holidays are popular and Croatia has a lot of nudist beaches - so it's a great match. Passengers will get undressed for swimming and sunbathing, but will be clothed for dinner." The "intimate" ship features a bar, a spacious sun deck and a small restaurant, which will be serving traditional Croatian cuisine.

Michael Ireland has won a $650,000 judgment against the Cheetah men's nightclub in West Palm Beach, Florida. The roofer was watching Sakeena Shageer perform on a bar when she spun around and hit him in the face with her platform shoes. Since then, he has been suffering from chronic double vision. Ireland broke bones around his eye and in his nose and now endures frequent dizziness.

Philly fan keeping it classy... puking.

What the Hell Theater - 10/15

Roxine Cornela Cobb was recently arrested for stunning her son's youth football coach with a stun gun. The pair first got into an argument on Monday night before things heated up again on Tuesday night. Cobb zapped the coach in the chest during a disagreement and was arrested and charged with battery soon thereafter. she refused to say what the argument was about.

An Australian man recently got drunk before he walked into his neighbor's home and took a shower to sober up. The housekeeper was home alone and called the police because she thought she was being robbed. The drunk apologized to her and the police and said he became disoriented on the way home. He was not charged.

What the Hell Theater - 10/14

Darren Suchon recently ran his girlfriend off the road for taking his Playstation video game console. Colleen Frable told the Allentown, PA police she took the gaming system with her to work because she was angry that Darren was playing video games all day instead of looking for a job. He tried to ram her off the road. Darren was charged with assault, reckless endangerment, harassment, disorderly conduct, reckless driving and driving with a suspended or revoked license.

What the Hell Theater - 10/12

The West Melbourne, Florida police recently tased an 18 year-old man, who was wearing swim goggles while jogging naked. Cmdr. Steve Wilkinson says, “He was jogging butt-naked and didn’t even have on shoes. We suspect he was under the influence ... he was a little incoherent. We found him, but he refused to stop and ended up getting Tasered. We then took him to Wuesthoff Hospital in Melbourne." The unidentified jogger was charged with exposure of his sexual organs and resisting arrest.

23-year-old Liu Wei won "China´s Got Talent" despite having no arms. He had both his limbs amputated after he suffered an electric shock as a child. Wei used only his toes to play James Blunt's "You´re Beautiful" on a piano. He received a standing ovation following his performance.

What the Hell Theater - 10/11

David Mallette was charged Saturday with endangering the welfare of a child after he left his 5 year-old son home alone while he got married. The unidentified New York boy called 911 after he was alone for 30 to 50 minutes. Cops rescued the child and turned him over to his biological mother. Mallette appeared in court wearing his tuxedo.

Eugenia Bebis is suing the Mystic Tattoo Art & Body Piercing Corporation for tattooing the Chicago White Sox logo backwards on her thigh. She's having the inking lasered off and says the shop failed to notice the tattoo was being inked backwards and didn’t adequately train and supervise employees. Bebis wants $50,000 from Mystic Tattoo.

What the Hell Theater - 10/8

A Sultan, Washington high school football coach and youth pastor resigned from his positions after allegations surfaced that he was having sex with a 17-year-old student. He met the young woman at church and got busted when he accidentally sent an “inappropriate” text message meant for her to his wife. The perv has apologized for his actions and is waiting to be charged.

Gerard Sina blares hip hop music on his Rwanda farm in order to get his pigs to mate more. He says he first saw the technique used in Belgium six years ago with positive results. "Human beings like music so I asked myself, why not for animals? We have to select music which can satisfy my animals. When we want to make them pregnant we have to put on strong music, so that the males can be strong and virile." DJ Edmund Ndizeye spends his days playing a mix of hip-hop, love songs, R'n'B, and reggae.

What the Hell Theater - 10/7

Felipe Mejia recently called 911 after his neighbor refused to give him a beer. When the Fort Pierce, Florida police arrived at his home, he smelled of booze, was slurring his words and could barely keep his balance. An officer ordered Mejia to go inside and go to bed. He emerged several minutes later and began swinging a screwdriver at his neighbor for once again refusing to serve him.

A Hoquiam, Washington pizza deliveryman was robbed earlier this week by a child. When he went to make his delivery, he was greeted at the door by the child who took the pizza and said his mother was in the shower and would be out soon to pay. Officers found the house was vacant. The child escaped with the pizza out the back door

Epic Fail. or Epic Success, depending on which team you're on.

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What the Hell Theater - 10/6

The Nanaimo, British Columbia police were called to the Cavallotti Lodge last Friday after 100 drunk women brawled over a male stripper. Officer Gary O'Brien says, "I guess one woman assaulted another woman who was blocking her view and then all hell broke loose." Four squad cars responded as cops arrested five women at the fundraiser.

 

A 33 year-old Silverton, Oregon man, who learned he was about to be fired, has been accused of burning his boss's car. The unidentified suspect doused the car in gas before lighting it on fire. He was fired and then charged with arson, criminal mischief and reckless burning.

Dork or Dominant Halloween Costume?

What the Hell Theater - 10/5

 Daniel McDaniels is recovering from shooting himself in the face. The 31 year-old Bradenton, Florida man was at a friend's house when he spotted a skunk. He grabbed a .22-caliber rifle and began loading it with the butt of the rifle on the ground. McDaniels didn't know the gun already had a round in it when he accidentally tripped the trigger and shot himself. The bullet pierced the fingers of his right hand and entered his left cheek. His injuries are not life-threatening.

A 9-year-old Sun Prairie, Wisconsin boy recently crawled into a claw toy vending machine at Wal-Mart. Firefighters rescued the boy within minutes and are not sure how he was able to get inside. Lt. Dan Cotter says, "We actually tried to get his attention a few times 'cause he was playing, so I mean he was happy to be in there, but I don't think mom and dad were too happy." The boy went home with two toys.

Watermelon in the kisser

Nope. that's not on the board...

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What the Hell Theater - 10-4

James Johnson was recently charged with a DUI while wearing an “I Have A Drinking Problem” t-shirt. The Webster, Massachusetts police busted the 50 year-old after he lost control of his car and crashed into a house. Johnson blamed his dogs for the crash even though they were nowhere to be found.

Elsie Wright O'Conner recently tried to get out of a DUI by offering a police officer a grilled cheese sandwich. Marion County, Florida Deputy Calvin Batts stopped the 65 year-old for driving erratically and found two Skyy vodka bottles in her SUV. O'Conner failed a field sobriety test and blew more than three times the legal limit of 0.08. She told Batts, "Come on now, I'm a grandma, can't you do something for me since I'm not that bad. I could have brought you back to my house and made you a grilled cheese sandwich."

What the Hell Theater - 10/1

Brandon Duke recently plead not guilty to shooting at a Longmont, Colorado police officer. The 22 year-old told the court he fired at the officer because he thought he was being chased by a zombie. The cop was trying to arrest Duke on an outstanding warrant. Duke will undergo a mental health evaluation and is scheduled to return to court in December.

Corde Honea was recently sentenced to three years in jail for child abuse. His 18-year-old girlfriend, Jayla Hamm, was sentenced to five weekends in jail and probation for Duct Taping her son to a wall. She held him while Corde strapped her two year-old to the dry wall with green tape. Jayla then took pictures that showed her son struggling and her laughing. Cops say the photos were taken after a night of partying near Lincoln, Nebraska. The couple got busted when a family friend called the police.

Just when you think he's done....