What the Hell Theater - 12/30

A 28-year-old Crestview, Florida woman was recently arrested for attacking her husband. She is six months pregnant and was stressed from caring for their two children. The unidentified mother downed a few beers before battering her husband. She was arrested on charges of battery.

A 53-year-old Oklahoma man was recently arrested at Detroit Metropolitan Airport after customs officials found $50,000 worth of heroin in his bags. Stevan Patong Thao told cops the drugs were intended as a pain reliever for his ailing grandmother, who suffers from diabetes and high blood pressure. Authorities say he was lying.

What the Hell Theater - 12/29

The Northbrook, Illinois police are looking for the thief who stole 153 bras from the Northbrook Court mall last week. The unidentified perv robbed the front window display of a Victoria’s Secret. The bras are valued at $9,675, or $63 apiece.

A 9-year-old New Mexico girl recently received the shock of her life when she found a Kama Sutra movie in the DVD player her parents gave her for Christmas. The girl's mother says they bought the machine from Kmart. "She freaked out, came out into the living room and said there's something nasty on the TV.

What the Hell Theater - 12/28

Esteban Galtes was arrested at Los Angeles International Airport last week after federal agents searched his luggage and found more than 14 pounds of cocaine hidden in pastel-colored, Easter egg-shaped candy. The Miami native told police the candy was for his two children. The seized cocaine had an estimated street value of more than $100,000. Galtes was returning to the United States after a one-week trip to Colombia and is now facing a maximum sentence of life in prison.

The Swedish police had an easy time arresting a trio of thieves last weekend because they were able to track them by following the snow tracks two of them left with their wheelchairs. The bandits stole from some storage lockers before chief investigator Leif Nilsson began tracking them. He says, "People had seen them at the spot, but they had managed to escape. However, since two of them were in wheelchairs, they did not get very far. The tracks were not difficult to follow in the snow. We did not even need a dog."

What the Hell Theater - 12/27

The Chatham, Ontario police recently rescued a man who got stuck inside a Salvation Army clothing bin. The unidentified man was trying to score some clothes when he got stuck. His legs were sticking out when cops arrived. The police freed the man and reminded him of the proper process to access the donated goods.


The Burlington, NC police had an easy time arresting Jerry Curry after he broke into the Mye Tavern on Saturday. They followed his foot tracks in the snow and busted him carrying two cases of beer and several cartons of cigarettes. Investigators returned the beer and cigarettes back to the business.

What the Hell Theater - 12/23

A 17-year-old Park Ridge, Illinois teen was recently arrested for selling pot brownies at Maine South High School. The student was sent to the dean’s office, where five brownies were found inside her backpack. She was released to her parents and said she was selling the brownies for $10 a piece.

What the Hell Theater - 12/22

Mary Evano was sentenced to four years in prison after admitting that she and her husband intentionally ate glass particles, then submitted false insurance claims. She was also ordered to pay more than $340,000 in restitution. From 1997 to 2005, the couple collected more than $200,000 in compensation after filing insurance claims that they had been injured by restaurants, hotels and grocery stores that had served them food containing glass. Evano's husband, Ronald, plead guilty in 2007 and is serving five years in prison.

The Sanford, Florida police recently arrested a school custodian for stealing presents from the principal's office at Wilson Elementary School. Barbara Williams told cops she planned to give the gifts to needy families. The police taped her stealing two bags of wrapped presents. Williams has worked for the Seminole County school district since 1996 and officials say her record has been clean up to this point.

What the Hell Theater - 12/21

Minati Khatua recently discovered that her newlywed husband is a woman. The 26 year-old India native says she grew suspicious after her new husband refused to make love to her. "He had impressed everyone in my family and they willingly agreed to our marriage. I would try hard to find out and confirm his gender but failed repeatedly. However, one day I managed to force open the bathroom door when "he" was having a bath. My worst fears came true. He was a woman."

What the Hell Theater - 12-20

Johnathan William Hartman recently shot himself in the butt after arguing with his girlfriend. The 27 year-old Billings, Montana man fired a shot in his partner's direction before placing the pistol back in his waistband. The gun discharged while he was driving sending a bullet into one of his cheeks. Hartman and his girlfriend were arguing about his upcoming prison sentence.

What the Hell Theater - 12/17

A 26-year-old Janesville, Minnesota man thought he was helping out a 70-year-old woman earlier this week when he gave her a ride to a bank. She robbed it while he had no idea he was her getaway driver. The man says he thought the woman, who rents an apartment from his mother, was going to the bank to withdraw cash to pay her rent. The "elderly woman" told employees she had a gun, demanded money and left with an undisclosed amount. Police stopped the car and took both into custody before determining the woman acted alone. The woman had a hammer, but no gun. She's in jail, pending charges.

The Swansea, England police placed a children's bounce house next to a parking garage after a suicidal man threatened to jump from the roof of the multi-story structure. The man was eventually talked down and taken to a hospital for treatment. Police Superintendent Keith Jones said, "The use of the inflatable device was an impromptu idea which came from a local officer, which would have helped to reduce the likelihood of a serious injury should this gentleman have fallen."

Dude gets fired, Sabotage's Lights!

A disgruntled employee, fired by Harrods from his job as the toy department’s Santa Claus, took revenge last night in spectacular style.

Gaining access to a maintenance control room, Lloyd Hudson, 35, from Ilford, Essex, was able to locate the chart and corresponding switches for Harrods’ 10,000 external lights.

Barracading himself in, Hudson disabled the correct lights until he could spell out his feelings to Harrods bosses and Christmas shoppers alike. He was removed by security guards after an hour-long stand-off, then handed over to police.

Footage of Metrodome Collapse

What the Hell Theater - 12/16

The Cedar Bluff, Alabama police had an easy time catching six bank robbery suspects on Tuesday. A deputy followed their red Nissan after he saw money flying out the window. The six suspects ditched their first getaway car and got into the Maxima to try and throw off authorities. They got busted because they failed to secure their money. All were apprehended after a brief foot chase.

An Australian woman's workers compensation claim has been denied. The unidentified public worker was on a business trip when she suffered a nose injury and damaged teeth while having sex. The Administrative Appeals Tribunal ruled, "If it is a quintessentially private activity it is not fair that taxpayers pay for the consequences of that activity."

Have you met...

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What the Hell Theater - 12/15

Substitute teacher Sheila Verke no longer has to put up with punks and bratty students now that she's won Arizona's $95 million Powerball prize. The 64 year-old, who took a lump sum of $49.9 million rather than a 30-year annuity, says she's retiring and expects to bank the money, live on the interest and begin touring the country in an RV.

A 33 year-old Milwaukee man was killed yesterday by a flying refrigerator. The victim, who was part of a renovation crew, was struck and killed after his partners tossed the fridge from a fourth floor apartment. The workers thought the area was clear because they yelled down to the ground and didn't hear a response. The victim died at the scene.

What the Hell Theater - 12/10

Elaine Emter has been sentenced to community service for biting a police officer during a fight over a hot fudge sundae. The 33 year-old was at a McDonald's earlier this year when she became upset because there was not enough hot fudge on her sundae. When workers refused to replace the sundae, Elaine became combative. When cops told her she was being charged she tried to drive off. Elaine bit one of the officers before they tasered her in order to subdue her.

What the Hell Theater - 12/9

The St. Petersburg, Florida police recently arrested Deloris Holley for stabbing her husband seven times. Cops say a fight over a TV remote led to her slashing him in the back of the head, his face, his shoulder, his back, and ultimately, his chest. Holley wanted to watch The Closer on Monday while David Marion wanted to watch Monday Night Football. She was charged with attempted murder. Police believe alcohol may have been a factor in this incident.

A Kennesaw State University instructor was recently arrested for exposing himself to students. Raymond Taylor was in the middle of teaching a course when he casually began removing his clothes for no apparent reason. Students complained immediately following the course. Taylor was charged with public indecency.

What the Hell Theater - 12/8

The Czech Republic recently tried to slow down speeders by posting life-sized cardboard cut-outs of mini-skirted policewomen on the side of the road. The police removed the 'women' because accident rates soared as men took their eyes off the road. The cardboard cutouts were installed in leiu of stoplight cameras with radar guns.

Elvis is being credited with saving a woman's life. Claudio Palma, a San Francisco doctor who was dressed as The King, performed CPR and resuscitated a Las Vegas Rock n' Roll half-marathon runner at the Mandalay Place following the race. He says the woman gave him a weird look and told him she was OK. Palma also got married at a run-thru chapel during the race.

What the Hell Theater - 12/7

A 17 year-old Sydney, Australia teen was recently arrested for selling laxatives at a dance party. The unidentified teen was trying to pass the laxatives off as ecstasy. He had 94 tablets on him when he was arrested.


The state of Florida revoked Mariah Barnes' driver's license last week, and less than a day later she proved the wisdom of that decision, causing a car accident on US Highway 1 in the Florida Keys as she shaved her private parts while driving.  She rear-ended a pickup truck because her focus was below the equator, and not on the road.  *****
 
*****Thanks to listener Grant Pawlik for sending in that story!

More Scary or Sad?

Jackolantern found on the steps at my friend Amanda's house... is this more SCARY looking or SAD looking?

*picture taken on Friday December 3rd (33 days after Halloween)

Top Secret Show #30 w Finger 11

What the Hell Theater -

A herd of 70 elephants recently got drunk on a fermented rice-based drink before going on a four-day rampage in India. The beasts killed three people and smashed dozens of homes. Villagers had been stockpiling the drink for a festival.

 

 

 

 

A drunk New Jersey man locked himself inside a porta potty and then had to be rescued with bolt cutters. A pedestrian walking by heard the man's cries for help and called the police, who rescued him within minutes.

Say hi to the D-Bag in the MiniVan!

Came into work today, apparently those lines are REALLY hard to park between!

What the Hell Theater - 12/3

An Irish Diocese has banned "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" from being sung in church. They say its lyrics are inappropriate and are also reviewing "Frosty the Snowman" to see if its contents are in line with their principles.

 

Daniel Clarke was sentenced to 2 1/2 years in prison for shooting a 12-year-old boy in a tree. The 22 year-old was firing an air rifle near his London home when he spotted some boys in a tree. He asked if they were pigeons before shooting one of them in the head. The boy was hit less than an inch from his eye. The boys left the tree and ran home.

Janitor ROCKS! Then Falls.

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Skip ahead to 1:10 and you won't have to listen to TOO much Bachman Turner Overdrive... and you're welcome.

What the Hell Theater - 12/2

Victor Benavidez is lucky to be alive after shooting himself in the face with a nail gun. He was fixing a roof when the gun accidentally discharged and fired a nail into his mouth. It stopped just 1mm from his brain. Vic didn’t realize what had happened until he saw blood running out of his mouth. The California native says, "I felt something with my tongue. When I got to the hospital and the doctors saw the X-ray, they thought I’d tried to kill myself. It was a total freak accident."

A British company, known for making the world's largest panties, has launched a new "super-super size" range for women with waistlines up to 105 inches. Dianne and Laura Mannering, the owners of Big Bloomers, expanded their line to include XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXL (15XL) sizes for women weighing up to 630 pounds. Dianne says they have sold about 100 pairs in the new sizes and are getting many orders from Australia, New Zealand and France.

What the Hell Theater - 12/1

James Stevens Jr. was recently arrested for mooning a Walgreens manager. The 48 year-old Manatee County, Florida man was drunk when he pushed past a manager who told him the store was closed. He grabbed some beer out of the cooler before moonring her. Stevens was charged with battery.

Thomas Drummond was recently acquitted of drunken driving after claiming that he consumed alcohol to keep warm after he lost control of his vehicle on an icy Jackson, Missouri road. He says he was not intoxicated while driving, but was by the time emergency workers arrived more than two hours later. Thomas says he drank to stay warm.

Best Interception You'll Never Make

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