see more Very Demotivational
Monday, January 31, 2011
What the Hell Theater - 1/31
Wow, talk about a Mama’s Boy! An Italian man brought his mother along on his honeymoon! The woman, identified as Marianna C., arrived at Rome’s airport only to find that her husband had brought along his mother to accompany them on the romantic getaway to Paris. Marianna’s now filing for divorce. She said her husband’s “excessive ties” to his mother “made it impossible to establish a healthy conjugal relationship.” Ya think?
Well at least he was trying to be safe! A man in Hungary was banned from a bar after he tried to steal a condom machine! Miklos Antal, 28, was caught after witnesses spotted him concealing the machine under his jacket. He told police that he had “met a hot girl at the bar and needed condoms for later.” He also explained that he was low on cash. “So I thought I’d solve both my problems at once,” he said. Maybe it seemed like a good idea at the time, but now the bar has an order of protection against him! Friday, January 28, 2011
What the Hell Theater - 1/28
New York women are flocking to the Shizuka spa for $180 facial treatments made from bird poo. Owner Shizuka Bernstein says her special mask is made with powdered nightingale excrement, rice, bran and water and is named uguisu, or 'no fun'. "The sterilized nightingale poo acts as an exfoliate that brings out the dirt and dust that builds up in the skin and leaves the customer feeling refreshed."
Thursday, January 27, 2011
What the Hell Theater - 1/27
A British soldier recently proposed to the wrong woman. The unidentified man, who is currently serving in Afghanistan, meant to propose to his pregnant girlfriend, but instead, dialed the wrong number and left a message on Diana Potts' voicemail. He said, "Dont ever forget I love you with all my heart and I was going to ask you - don't answer, obviously you can't answer - but will you marry me?"
A Turkish man recently took out a restraining order against his sex-crazed wife. He told police he has slept on a sofa for the past four years in an attempt to escape her insatiable appetite for sex. The exhausted man has moved out of his home and is now seeking a divorce. 
The Greenwood, Mississippi police recently arrested Andrew Lee Nash for sexually assaulting four hogs. Cops set up surveillance cameras and busted the 52 year-old after the hog's owners suspected foul play had been taking place. Each of the hogs contracted an STD from Nash, who was charged with 12 counts of unnatural intercourse. If found guilty, he faces up to 120 years in jail. 
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
What the Hell Theater - 1/26
The Kansas City police arrested Michael L. Wilson and Darion O. Page for stealing from stranded motorists. They would stop, pretend to want to help, then break out a gun and demand money. They robbed a preacher who got stuck in the snow and then another man who pulled up and asked if they needed help rescuing the clergyman. Officers spotted Page's Suburban as he was speeding away from his second robbery. 
A 29 year-old London man is about to become Britain's youngest grandfather. His 14-year-old daughter is 11 weeks pregnant. The man, who wants to remain anonymous, tells the Daily Mail, "I quite like the idea of being the youngest grandad in Britain, but at the same time I’m fuming that she is pregnant. I know myself how tough it is being a teenage parent and now she has to go through the same thing. However, we’re all going to stand by her and we will welcome the little one into the family." Tuesday, January 25, 2011
What the Hell Theater - 1/25
Sega is currently testing a new line of urine-powered video games in Tokyo. The Sega games, called Toylets, use a pressure sensor on the back of the urinal to measure the strength and direction of a urine stream. A small TV screen then allows you to play several video games which are all controlled by your urine. Graffiti Eraser allows players to use their stream to erase graffiti on a wall. If the games are a success, Sega may market them to bars and clubs in the U.S.
A 22 year-old New York man was killed early yesterday after falling into a machine that mixes tortillas. A co-worker tried to pull the man from the waist high machine, but was unsuccessful. The victim was pronounced dead at the scene. Monday, January 24, 2011
Just quit now....
Greatest Mini-Golf Shot ever... seriously, just quit now, you've just hit the greatest shot ever, nothing will EVER be bigger than this.
What the Hell Theater - 1/24
Gena, a 14-year-old crocodile at an aquarium in the Ukraine, recently became sick after swallowing a cell phone. Rimma Golovk accidentally dropped her phone in Gena's tank and then realized she had swallowed it after it started ringing from inside her stomach. Golovk wants her SIM card back because it contains precious photos and contacts. Gena has not eaten or gone to the bathroom lately so her handlers are lacing her quail meat with vitamins and a laxative.
The Vancouver police are looking for Thomas James Newman, who met a woman on an online dating site before stealing her car. Police say the 36 year-old is a suspect in at least five other thefts, where a man dupes "unsuspecting women into going on dates before he allegedly steals their valuables at the first opportunity." 
80-year-old Gerald Sanctuary recently found his Honda after losing it in 2008. The senior, who suffers from dementia, parked his car in a parking garage after a trip to the pharmacy. When he couldn't find it, he called for a ride home. His children went back to look for the car, but they too were unable to track it down and thought it had been stolen. An attendant recently noticed the car was unusually dirty and called the police. They then ran the plates and returned the car to Gerald. Friday, January 21, 2011
What the Hell Theater - 1/21
Lydia Fox's 7-year-old son was recently suspended from Oklahoma City's Parkview Elementary School for making a gun gesture with his fingers. The principal threatened a longer suspension if it happened again.
A 65 year-old German man was given a six-month suspended jail sentence for attempting to cash a million-dollar bill at his local bank. The senior told tellers he received the bill after selling a property in Sri Lanka. The man was convicted of attempting to bring counterfeit money into circulation and attempted fraud. Thursday, January 20, 2011
What the Hell Theater - 1/20
The Kane County, Illinois sheriff’s department recently scored a major drug bust after they stopped Pablo Galeana-Rueda and Jose Hernandez-Calderon for not paying a 60-cent toll. Cops found 60 pounds of high-quality marijuana in their car worth $1 million. The men were on there way to the West Coast.
Waldo Soroa, Matrix Andaluz, and Jose David Diaz Marrero were recenty arrested for breaking into a Silver Springs, Florida home. The men and two juveniles stole electronics, jewelry and several urns. The men snorted the powdery substance inside the urns because they believed it was cocaine. The victim says the urns contained her late father's ashes and the ashes of her two Great Danes.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
What the Hell Theater - 1/19
The Lexington, North Carolina police recently arrested a 42-year-old man for calling 911 to request an escort. Lonnie Michael Felts called 911 twice after he was warned about misusing the emergency system. He was under the influence of drugs or alcohol when the incident happened.
The Bucaramanga, Colombia police recently intercepted a pigeon that was flying 45 grams of drugs into a prison. Police commander Jose Mendoza says the bird was carrying 40 grams of marijuana and 5 grams of "bazuco", but could not reach reach the jail because the weight made him tired. He fell to the ground and collapsed. Small packages had been tied to the pigeon's wings. Tuesday, January 18, 2011
What the Hell Theater - 1/18
Andrew Williams has reconciled with Victoria Bynes, just one week after she lit his groin on fire. His family was stunned when they went to pick him up from the hospital and discovered she had already got him. Andrew says, “It was an accident. We've been together for a long time."
The Key West, Florida police recently arrested Richard Gervasi for disturbing the peace and resisting arrest. The 43 year-old Phoenixville, Pennsylvania man stripped naked, ran into traffic and began yelling, "I'm the king of the world!" He also said he was “made of steel” before cops tased him and hauled him off to jail. Richard told officers he had been drinking and taking LSD. Friday, January 14, 2011
What the Hell Theater - 1/14
A Minnesota man recently called 911 after a prostitute refused to have sex with him. The unidentified escort met the man at a Super 8 Motel before taking his $200 and leaving. Officers tracked down the woman after the man gave them a description of her car. Both the man and woman were jailed. Thursday, January 13, 2011
What the Hell Theater - 1/13
A 23-year-old Kentucky man is facing five to 10 years in prison for getting his 2-year-old stepdaughter drunk on gin and iced tea. He was babysitting the child when they started boozing together. When the child's mother came home from work, she found the 2-year-old passed out. The baby had a blood-alcohol level of 0.231, or nearly three times the legal limit in Kentucky.Wednesday, January 12, 2011
What the Hell Theater - 1/12
Atsushi Yamagami and Norihide Ushirozako were recently arrested at LAX for attempting to smuggle more than 50 live turtles into the U.S. The Japanese pair hid the turtles in snack food boxes inside a suitcase. They could face up to 21 years in prison if convicted. The men are also charged with one count of violating the Endangered Species Act. Atsushi and Norihide planned to sell the turtles on the black market.
The Lee County, Florida Sheriff’s are looking for a man who broke into the clubhouse at a trailer park, stripped nude and then stole $15 in sausage. Joseph Brown told investigators he bought the sausage for an upcoming bingo night and then called them after he noticed it was missing from the fridge. The clubhouse’s surveillance video shows the perv walking around naked with the sausage
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
What the Hell Theater - 1/11
The Boiling Springs, Pennsylvania police arrested Nicholas A. Sworen over the weekend for biting another man's genitals during a fight. The victim told police Sworen hit him on the head with a beer bottle before they started scrapping. Sworen was arrested at the scene and had a small amount of marijuana on him.
A Quebec man is suing the makers of a penis enlarger because he claims the device does not work despite 500 hours of use. The unidentified plaintiff is asking for $762 to recoup the cost of the device as well as moral and punitive damages. He bought the X4 Extender Deluxe Edition after seeing an ad for it that promised results within several months. Monday, January 10, 2011
What the Hell Theater - 1/10
A group of North Carolina teens recently got busted for drug possession after one of them accidentally butt-dialed 911 while on the way to a party. The dispatcher sent the Carrboro police to the party after overhearing the teens putting the party’s address into a GPS device. 
An unlicensed 27-year-old Australian woman says her hungry cat forced her to drive while almost five times over the legal alcohol limit. The drunk woman claims her cat gave her no choice, but to drive to the store to buy food.
Friday, January 7, 2011
What the Hell Theater - 1/7
An Atlanta car valet is alive today because of his cell phone. After getting kicked out of the Halo Nightclub, two men returned a short while later and opened fire. A bullet hit the valet’s cell phone in his breast pocket and stopped, while Sgt. Robert Altertini, who was in the area, quickly arrested the men. Officers said they were not sure if the valet was the target of the gunfire or just hit by a random bullet. 
A Wilmington, Delaware man broke into a house, got drunk and then had to call 911 because he couldn't get out. Following a prior break-in by the same thief, the home's owner changed the locks so that a key is required even on the inside. Police say no one was home when John Finch broke in again, drank three bottles of gin and two bottles of whiskey and then tried to leave. He now faces charges in both break-ins. Thursday, January 6, 2011
What the Hell Theater - 1/6
Designer Andrew Christian has created a new line of underwear for men called The Shock Jock. The cup comes with a penis mold and adds up to 2 inches to the groin area. The removable cup comes in a variety of styles and colors.
The Las Vegas police issued a jaywalking ticket to Takara Davis after she was hit by a car. The 13 year-old was walking home from school when she was hit. She is now in a medically induced coma. Officers handed the citation to her mother at the hospital. Davis' mother, Kellie Obong, says, "He said, 'Takara was jaywalking. She has got to go to court on March 6th.'" If she was jaywalking, then she was jaywalking. But maybe you give it to me at a later time. Don't give it to me when they are rushing her into the operating room."Wednesday, January 5, 2011
What the Hell Theater - 1/5
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
What the Hell Theater - 1/4
Female students from China, in an attempt to make themselves more appealing in job interviews, have been eating roundworm eggs to lose weight. The eggs hatch in the stomach and become worms, which act as food parasites in the digestive tract. The women who have been eating the worms say they don't have to exercise as much.
Monday, January 3, 2011
What the Hell Theater - 1/3
A 22 year-old London man recently tried to perform a sex change operation on himself. He cut off his testicles before throwing them in a park. The unidentified man then waited nearly 24 hours before staggering into a hospital. He told staffers he felt "a lot less pain" than he had expected. He left after being treated with swabs and stitches and was advised to seek psychiatric help.
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