What the Hell Theater - 8/31

A Miami International Airport passenger is in trouble after being caught with snakes in his pants while trying to board a flight. The Transportation Security Administration said the seven cold-blooded reptiles were discovered on the male passenger by security scanners on August 25th. It was not clear where in the man's pants the snakes were hidden or if the snakes were venomous. The unidentified passenger didn't stop at sneaking snakes on a plane. He also had three tortoises hidden in a nylon bag concealed in his pants. The exotic animals were confiscated by the U.S. Department of Fish and Wildlife and the man was arrested for trafficking illegal wildlife.

A central Pennsylvania man has been charged for a second time with trying to steal a rack of ribs by shoving them down his trousers. Carlisle police said 65-year-old Donald Noone tried to hide about $20 worth of ribs in his pants on Sunday. Police say he attempted to pull the same stunt on May 22nd at a supermarket and pleaded guilty to retail theft and public drunkenness. Police say that since this is a second offense, the theft charge will be considered a more serious second-degree misdemeanor.

What the Hell Theater - 8/30

A woman fishing near her home on Lake Ida in Minnesota said she reeled in a prosthetic leg three years after it was lost by a swimmer. Beth Krohn said she phoned several area businesses in hopes of tracking down the leg's owner and she lucked out when she called Advanced O and P in Alexandria. Pam Riley, who also has a house on Lake Ida, said she lost the leg while swimming three years ago. Krohn met with Riley in a Walmart parking lot to give her the leg. She said she is proud of her catch.

Police say they're trying to determine what caused a septic tanker truck to crash off a western New York road and slam through the wall of a home before coming to rest in the living room. Police say the truck was carrying 200 gallons of fresh water, some of which spilled out, and a separate load of 300 gallons of waste product, which didn't leak. The home was declared uninhabitable after the crash.

What the Hell Theater - 8/23

Women have something to get off their chests. Activists in more than a dozen cities took part in yesterday's Go Topless protest. Asheville, North Carolina, organizer Livienne Love says it's an issue of gender equality. She adds that they want women to push against the social stigma of going topless. Local police say bare breasted women don't violate the state law against indecent exposure. While some of the women went topless, GoTopless.org was urging guys to wear bras or bikini tops.

What the Hell Theater - 8/19

Idaho state environment officials say crews have finished removing massive rolls of toilet paper that fell off a truck and were lodged for weeks in the upper Lochsa River. Earlier attempts to pull out the paper was called off when it began disintegrating, creating an even bigger mess. Officials said teams yanked out the remnants last weekend when lower river flows made the work more manageable. Crews wrapped the rolls with a reinforced mesh before they were pulled out by a tow truck. The rolls landed in the water after the truck hauling the load along U.S. Highway 12 slid into the river.

Police in Menasha, Wisconsin, are hoping someone will come forward with information about a prosthetic leg discovered in a neighborhood. The leg was turned over to an officer by a woman who discovered it between 4:30 a.m. and 5:30 a.m. on August 4th. "The leg is a prosthetic leg with a black shoe on the bottom of the leg," police said. Officer Aaron Zemlock added the leg has been in the police evidence room for nearly two weeks and no one has come forward to claim it yet.

What the Hell Theater - 8/18

Police in Forth Worth, Texas, arrested a man they say stole a forklift from a construction site and led them on a low-speed chase that ended on an interstate. Police said Timothy Raines, 43, stole the forklift from a construction site Sunday and led police on a chase ending on Interstate 30. Raines was arrested on charges including theft, aggravated assault on a peace officer and driving while intoxicated.

Canadian police say they're considering charges against a Quebec man who dropped a 20-ton boulder in his ex-wife's driveway as a birthday present. Isabelle Prevost made the discovery Sunday morning in the town of Acton Vale. The massive rock was spray-painted in French with a happy birthday greeting on one side and "This is for all you're doing to me" on the other side. Her ex-husband, Dany Lariviere, who owns an excavation company, told police he used a front-end loader in the middle of the night to transport the boulder because his ex-wife had always complained he never gave her "a big rock."

What the Hell Theater - 8/17

The owners of the Aqueduct Race Track, New York City's first casino, said the grand opening has been delayed due to pigeon poop in the building. Genting Resorts World New York said the more than $15 million it has spent to clean up the building, which first opened in 1894, includes funds for removing pigeon droppings from the floors, ceilings and walls of the facility. The company said the grand opening of the casino has been pushed back to fall, in part due to the pigeon poo cleanup efforts.

Looking for a deal on a Swiss Army knife? Or maybe a rolling pin? Those are among items seized at security checkpoints at Oklahoma airports. Knives are banned on airline flights for obvious reasons, while rolling pins are a no-no because they can be used as clubs. Bowling balls and souvenir bricks are also banned in carry-on bags. About every six months the boxes of pocket knives and other forbidden items are picked up by state officials to be sold at auction.

What the Hell Theater - 8/16

An alleged would-be robber ended up at the wrong end of a gun when he tried to rob a wrestling coach. Fred Kemp, 63, and his wife had just finished dinner when Richard Nowling stuck a gun in Fred Kemp's face. Kemp, who is 5-foot-7-inches and weighs 150 pounds, instinctively pushed the gun away and then he put the would be robberin a "sleeper hold". Nowling was charged with armed robbery and aggravated battery. Kemp coaches wrestling for the New York State Junior Olympic team and is a volunteer assistant wrestling coach at American University in Washington, D.C.

A 14 year old boy killed his great-grandmother and stabbed his grandmother after being told to stop playing video games.  The boy snapped after being told to turn off the game, a stand off ensued with police which included him firing a pellet gun at officers while waving his sword at them.  K9 units and tasers were needed to take him down. 

What the Hell Theater - 8/15

A man from Washington allegedly backed his Jeep into his neighbor's carport, and then hid in a portable toilet. Police say Gordon Flavia got into his Jeep  and drove backwards into his neighbor's carport, knocking down a roof support beam and coming to rest in a bathroom.  Flavia fled the scene on foot, hid in a portable toile where he covered himself with a bucket of human waste, "because he thought the dogs were coming, and he was trying to throw off the scent,". Police believe alcohol was involved.

What the Hell Theater - 8/11

An Iowa woman woke up to find a drunken teenager in her bed. Carla Kraninger initially thought it was her son. But she quickly realized it was not and called police. She and her son tried to wake up the trespasser, but the teen was too intoxicated to respond. The high school student told police he had a beer with some friends earlier and they dropped him off at what he believed to be his mother's house. The teen, who had a blood-alcohol content of 0.115 at the time.

Police say a home repairman working in Illinois, stole a diamond ring, then swallowed it to keep the owner from getting it back. Wilfredo Gonzalez was doing remodeling work in the alleged victim's home last Friday when he asked to use the bathroom. When he finished, the homeowner noticed her diamond ring was missing and told her husband. Gonzalez denied the theft and began struggling with the husband. During the struggle, Gonzalez allegedly took the ring from his pocket and swallowed it. Police took Gonzalez to a nearby hospital, where the ring showed up in an X-ray of his stomach. The ring was recovered and had to be washed, several times. 

A Long Island school bus driver said he was fired for giving a ride to a pair of police officers whose car had flooded during a hailstorm. George Daw was driving a mini-bus carrying a teenage passenger on August 1st as golf ball-size hail and torrential rain came down in New Hyde Park. He encountered a stalled unmarked police cruiser on Hillside Avenue that was carrying the detectives and was beginning to fill with water. They told Daw, "You've got to help us. You've got to get us to the third precinct. We're police officers." Daw moved the teen to the back of his vehicle and let the detectives on board. "I felt this was something anyone would do under the circumstances," Daw said. "I felt they were in danger." Educational Bus Transport of Copiague terminated Daw, saying he violated policy prohibiting drivers from picking up unscheduled passengers.

What the Hell Theater - 8/10

Police in Arizona are urging residents to practice handgun safety after a man shot himself in the you-know-what while putting a gun in the waistband of his pants. Chandler police said Joshua Seto, 27, shot himself Tuesday night while walking to Fry's Food Store with his fiance. He was attempting to secure her pink handgun in his waistband. The bullet also struck Seto in the left thigh. He was taken to a hospital for treatment. It was unclear whether Seto suffered any permanent damage from the incident.

An Indianapolis woman said she was "shocked" when an image resembling Jesus Christ appeared on a shirt she tie-dyed. Carylin Landers said after her discovery she accidentally dropped the part of the shirt with the Jesus image in a dark navy dye while coloring another part of the shirt and feared she'd covered the image. "I rinsed it when it was done, only to see that the second color didn't touch the face. It only outlined it more," she said. Landers said many people have agreed with her that the image looks like Jesus. "I'm not even a religious person," Landers said. "I was shocked at what I saw."

What the Hell Theater - 8/9

The owner of two Dallas businesses that officials say were falsely represented as religious outreach efforts has agreed to close them. A judge closed the Playground last month. The city, in a court filing, said undercover officers determined that it was a swingers sex club, operating in a space that had a certificate of occupancy for a church, synagogue or mosque. The owner also agreed to close another club called Darkside. The city says the businesses violated zoning restrictions and had no religious activity.

Police in Jacksonville, Florida, say a potential Twinkie thief was thwarted by an armed store clerk last Thursday. The Jacksonville Sheriff's Office responded to a call from a convenience store around 4 p.m. when a man attempted to steal a Twinkie. The store clerk chased the suspected snack cake snatcher out of the store. Police say the clerk's gun discharged during the chase, hitting the suspect. K-9 units followed a trail of blood but did not locate the suspect. A check of area hospitals turned up 18-year-old Joseph Williams, who admitted to being in a struggle with the store clerk. He was arrested. No word on the condition of the Twinkie.

What the Hell Theater - 8/8

A pregnant suburban Chicago woman was so determined to finish the Illinois bar exam that she completed the test even after going into labor. 29-year-old Elana Dawson started the final portion of the exam last week when she went into labor. The exam must be finished to be valid. She says her goal was "to get through the exam as fast as I could and leave". Her contractions were about 15 minutes apart. After finishing, she walked one block to a hospital. Little baby Wilson was born two hours later. She'll find out if she passed the bar in October.

What the Hell Theater - 8/5

A cafeteria worker for the Pittsburgh Steelers said former secondary coach Ray Horton sold him his Mercedes convertible for only $20. Maurice Matthews said Horton visited the cafeteria on his last day before leaving to serve as defensive coordinator for the Arizona Cardinals and asked him how much money he had in his pocket. "I got $20," Matthews responded. Horton then announced, "Sold for $20!" and handed him the keys to his red 1999 Mercedes Benz SL500 convertible roadster. "Ray said, 'Hey, you always liked the car, you're a good dude, I know you'll take care of it. It's yours.'"  "I'm still in shock," Matthews said. "I don't think it has hit me yet.

Drug suspect Jose Jimilian hit the wrong car with his bicycle. Jose ran into an unmarked police car filled with undercover cops. According to officers in Salem, Massachusetts, Jimilian knocked off one of the mirrors on the car. He told the officers he was in a hurry. Suspicious officers found cash, three bags of pot and four bags of cocaine on Jimilian. He's pleaded not guilty to a number of charges, including drug possession with intent to distribute.

What the Hell Theater - 8/3

Police say an 8-year-old boy was driving a pickup down a Louisiana interstate while his drunken father slept in the passenger seat. The man's 4-year-old daughter was in the back seat when the truck was stopped Saturday morning in Livingston Parish, troopers said. The child's driving was so erratic that it alarmed motorists, who called authorities. The father, Billy Joe Madden, 28, of Hattiesburg, Mississippi, was booked on charges of child desertion and allowing a minor to drive. The children were turned over to Child Protective Services.

Pittsburgh police said a wanted man who allegedly attempted to carjack a plainclothes detective told officers he was working on the latest Batman movie. Police said Micah Calamosca, 21, who had been wanted on an assault charge, attempted to carjack Detective Robert DiGiacomo, who was in an unmarked car. Calamosca was taken into custody with the help of an off-duty officer from Virginia Beach, Virginia. Police said Calamosca claimed the carjacking attempt was part of filming for "The Dark Knight Rises," which began filming Friday in Pittsburgh. Calamosca was charged with felony robbery of a motor vehicle and jailed lieu of $5,000 bond.

What the Hell Theater - 8/1

Love hurts - especially for a Milwaukee-area man. Authorities say Jordan Cardella had himself shot in an effort to win sympathy from his ex-girlfriend. But prosecutors say Cardella didn't shoot himself, because he's a felon and didn't want to touch a gun. Court records show he had another man do it in exchange for money or pain pills. The shooter and a friend of Cardella's have both been sentenced to two years probation and 100 hours of community service. A charge against Cardella was dismissed. The ex-girlfriend never did visit Cardella in the hospital. The prosecutor said this is "the most phenomenally stupid" case he's seen.