What the Hell Theatre - 7/31

New York's famed Waldorf Astoria recently served a steak with a side of tampons. A German tourist chewed the feminine product before running to the bathroom and vomiting. Hospital tests showed that Axel Sanz-Claus ate a used tampon. He has been tested for HIV and hepatitis.

Scott Kurico recently drove his truck into a swimming pool. The 46 year-old Aloha, Oregon man was cruising through an apartment complex parking lot when he spilled hot coffee on himself. He accidentally hit the accelerator, nailed a parked car, crashed through a fence and careened into a swimming pool. No one was hurt in the crash

A London teacher is in trouble for accidentally showing a home porn to a group of 9 year-olds. The X-rated film ended up on the school laptop after the teacher took it home for the weekend. She forgot to erase her escapades and traumatized some of her students. One parent says, "My child came home from school distraught. I shouldn't have to explain the birds and the bees to a nine year old."

Homeless marketing at it's best

It's kinda small, but his sign reads, "I bet you can't hit me with a quarter!" Brilliant!

Mark and Michelle Jewell's dog is recovering from swallowing 9 golf balls. 'Bertie' was rushed to the vet after she started walking strangely. Dr. John Matthews spent two hours removing the balls and a bullet that was lodged in the fat around the dog's stomach. Bertie is expected to make a full recovery.

South Carolina woman was recently charged with disorderly conduct for riding a horse while drunk. Tracy Nadine Ellenburg was on her way to her boyfriend's house when a passing pedestrian called 911 to report she and her horse were crossing the double-yellow line. Cops caught up with the 40 year-old at a convenience store. Ellenburg tied her horse to a park bench and told officers that the animal was drunk. She later admitted she downed a six pack before jumping on 'Fancy

Angel Rolon, of New Britain, Connecticut, recently crashed his truck because two baby snakes escaped from his pants pockets. The 'beasts' slithered down his leg and onto the gas and brake pedals before he and a friend tried to capture them. That's when Rolon lost control of his SUV and smacked into some parked cars before overturning. Cops cited him for reckless driving and say they have been unable to find the snakes.

Don't mess with the DPW!

What the Hell Theatre - 7/29

Keith Cullen and Paul Wiggins were recently arrested after they passed out in a liquor store after robbing it. The Londoners decided to celebrate their $1,000 heist by downing their favorite drinks. They quickly passed out and were apprehended the next morning when the store owner found them asleep. A closed circuit television recorded the entire theft

The East Palo Alto, California 911 system was recently jammed with callers who saw a man hanging by the neck next to the Four Seasons Hotel. The "victim" turned out to be a fire department mannequin that trainees were using as part of a rope rescue. The firefighters were lowering team members down the building's facade to save the fallen 'window washer'.

A 33 year-old Destin, Florida man was recently arrested for inhaling 28 cans of whipped cream. A Wal-Mart loss prevention officer called the police after he saw the suspect opening the the seven-ounce cans of whip cream. Each can contained nitrous oxide, or laughing gas. When inhaled it "induces a condition of intoxication."

Condom Sponsors

What the Hell Theatre - 7/28

Kevin Hallaran is recovering from being dumped into the back of a garbage truck. The 52 year-old was sleeping in a trash bin behind a St. Petersburg Office Depot when the dumpster was emptied into a collection truck. He was quickly surrounded by garbage from a Chinese restaurant. The truck's driver, Antwian Scott, used its hopper cam to spot Hallaran. Firefighters helped remove him.

The Baton Rouge police recently arrested Mitchell Deslatte after he pulled up to a state trooper station in a drunken state. The 25 year-old knocked on the front door and was buzzed in before he asked a trooper if he was in a hotel.

A 20 year-old Panama City Beach woman is recovering from stabbing herself. She was drunk and dancing around in her kitchen when she slipped on her floor and accidentally stabbed herself in the arm. The woman was taken by ambulance to Bay Medical Center where she was treated and released.

What the Hell Theatre - 7/27

Londoner Steve Miller claims he is allergic to wireless Internet. He says WiFi makes him dizzy. "I feel like an exile on my own planet. It's almost impossible to find somewhere without Wi-Fi nowadays. If I fancy a pint I have to travel three miles to the only pub in my area that doesn't have it. Most hotels have it, as have all the airports. I can't even catch a train because they have it." Miller carries a Wi-Fi detector with him wherever he goes so he can avoid problem areas.

A Harrison Township, Ohio man is recovering from being stabbed in the butt. He and a friend were drinking early Friday morning when they began to argue. Cops say the victim's friend stabbed him in the butt before medics took him to a local hospital, with a non-life-threatening injury.

THIS is how to get down the aisle!

Jill and Kevin's Unexpected Wedding Entrance - Watch more Funny Videos

Real or Fake?

Real or Fake people? Comment below

I'm a Toys R Us Kid!

More Subtle...

Subtle

BMW parked in Handicapped Spot, cont. part #3

OH CRAP!

We found out the person driving the BMW was old....

But, old doesn't = handicapped.

I went outside to confront her, and she kept pointing to an ace bandage on her foot.... and when i asked, "So you're disabled." Her answer was, "My foot hurts, I have trouble walking, ask my boss he said it was ok to park here."

SO, I'll admit, I felt like crap @ first cause I blocked in an "older person", but, that doesn't mean you're allowed to park in the handicapped spot!!

This isn't over...

BMW parked in Handicapped Spot, cont.

Here's where we stand... 979X van Parked behind the offending BMW with a sign on the passanger window that reads, "If you need this van moved, call 1-866-20-Rocks Thanks, Management"

Did I go too far? email me

BMW parked in Handicapped Spot

Here's the car that I was bitching about yesterday. A Black BMW. Parked in the
Handicapped spot for the past two weeks (at least).

They have no disabled ID hanging from the rear view mirror, and no logo on their license plate, yes, I checked.

So I've decided before I go on the air today, to let them know how we feel about them parking in that spot in front of our station.... stay tuned... for more.

What the Hell Theatre - 7/22

A 14-year-old Transformers fan has been drinking gasoline in an attempt to "become a valiant fighter" like his hero, Optimus Prime. He went from sipping from a motorcyle tank to guzzling fuel from his neighbor's cars. The boy's father says that he has been drinking gas since he was 9. "He started drinking gasoline about five years ago. Since my son began drinking fuel, his IQ has dropped sharply and now he does not know the answer of 7 plus 17."

Sandor Pal Martonosy recently sold his sister's possessions after they got into a fight. Jannelle King says her brother held a garage sale after she told him she was moving out of their Naples, Florida home. She said she knew something was wrong when she returned home from work and saw her BBQ grill sitting in front of her neighbor's home

What the Hell Theatre - 7/21

Rev. Sharon Burnett is offering drive-thru weddings at her north Tampa store. She says couples who pull up with a marriage license, a witness over the age of 18, and $20 can tie the knot without turning off their car engine. Her Mother Earth Goddess metaphysical store is housed in a former dry-cleaning business that features a sliding glass window for the nuptials.

The San Mateo, California police recently arrested Peter Allen Steele for ringing doorbells while naked. Two residents called 911 after the 38 year-old woke them up at 3 a.m.. Steele led cops on a brief chase before they used a bean bag gun to subdue him. He was charged with suspicion of driving under the influence, evading a peace officer, driving with a suspended license, indecent exposure, entering a house without permission, vandalism and resisting arrest.

Good luck with that...

REVENGE!!!!

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

What the Hell Theatre - 7/20

The Haverford Township, PA police recently cited seven juveniles for illegally selling lemonade. A neighbor called 911 because the 5 year-olds were going door-to-door. The responding officer cited the kids for vending without a permit. The kids were not charged because the law doesn't apply to anyone younger than 16.

The Minneapolis police recently arrested Johann Scott Scrimshire for riding his bike while naked. The 42 year-old exposed himself to joggers and power walkers before telling cops he was training for a naked bike ride. Officers say Scrimshire was wearing a pair of shorts that had the crotch area removed.


David Grounds is being hailed as a hero for saving his dog from a 7-foot alligator. The 65 year-old and 'Mandy' were walking along a pond behind his West Palm Beach home when the alligator started approaching. The beast chimped down on the dog's midsection before Grounds poked him in the eye and freed Mandy. The gator bit off his right index and ring fingers before going back to the pond.

Bumpy Road

What the Hell Theatre - 7/17

The Nebraska police recently charged Sando Dshaw Hamilton with making a false statement and indecent exposure. Cops were called to Lincoln's Wilderness Park after someone spotted the 19 year-old walking around naked in the woods. Hamilton told officers a man with a gun tried to rob him, but ended up taking his clothes because he didn't have any money. Later, he admitted he lied.


A London pub has already begun celebrating Christmas. The Milton Arms Hungry Horse is decked out in festive lights and trees. Owner Chris Beard says Santa makes appearances on the weekend. "We put up a tree a couple of days ago and it was the last thing some of the locals wanted to see so they picked it up and carried it around the bar in friendly banter. It's the middle of summer, people are all talking about the recession, doom and gloom, and seeing people look at Christmas menus is just a bit of fun."

If you're gonna do it... get it washed after...

Do you .... text?

Want to be in the 979X Rock Lounge tomorrow (7/16) with REV THEORY?




Text: REV

To: 64636

To try and win your way in!

What the Hell Theatre - 7/16

Terrence Joseph Germani recently called the Waynesville, North Carolina police to let them know he was going to rob a Wachovia bank. He told the dispatcher he was wearing a black shirt and white shoes and was not armed. “I've got a note, I am going to rob the bank. I need to go to prison. I can't live like this anymore.” When an officer arrived Germani said, “You got me. I'm robbing the bank.” An hour before the robbery, the quit his job and left his possessions to his roommate. He blamed the poor economy for his actions.

Rachel Ferrara was recently arrested for assaulting her boyfriend. The 23 year-old La Crosse, Wisconsin woman walked in on him watching porn before she accused him of cheating. She punched him in the abdomen, kicked him in the groin and slashed his arms with a knife. The boyfriend escaped an drove himself to the hospital

More pictures from the Nickelback Show...

Some pictures from the Nickelback, Hinder, Papa Roach and Saving Abel show... got any you want to share? email them to me, McKay@979x.com

What the Hell Theatre - 7/15

The Chicago police are looking for two teens, who recently robbed Willbert Weeks of his prosthetic legs. The 66 year old was lying in bed watching a show about volcanoes when the unknown thugs crashed into his bedroom, struck him on the head with a gun and fled with his legs.

A New York grandmother recently received the shock of her life after renting "Austin Powers" from her local library. Esther Klein and her three grandkids, ages 7 to 15, were watching the Mike Myers movie when X-rated footage appeared as the credits rolled. The Brooklyn Public Library says it has the problem under control and will remove the tape from circulation.

The Wells, Maine police recently arrested Michael Goode for riding a lawnmower while under the influence of alcohol. His neighbors called 911 after he began to mow their grass without their consent. Goode was charged with a felony because he has three prior arrests.

Guess who got UPGRADED!?

This is Rachelle, we asked her who her favorite radio station was as she was sitting in the lawn @ Montage Mtn. She told us she only listens to 97.9X.
So we asked her to come down and sit in the 979X Row... you never know when we're going to hook you up!

Asleep @ the wheel

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

babies are always funny...

What the Hell Theatre - 7/14

Jose F. Notario was recently arrested for crashing a wedding at the Seneca Niagara Casino & Hotel. The 36 year-old was drunk when he entered the reception and began flirting with a woman. He then punched a man, who tried to confront him and fought with others before the Niagara Falls police charged him with third-degree assault and second-degree harassment. After his arrest, Notario told police he mistook the wedding reception for a nightclub because he was drunk.

The Indiana police recently charged Jody Lovekin with a DUI for driving a golf cart while drunk. Cops stopped him after they clocked him going 16 mph on the side of the road. Lovekin had a .15 percent blood alcohol level. If convicted, he may spend time in prison because he's had a prior drunk-driving conviction within the past five years.

Barry Kenny was recently found not guilty of indecent exposure thanks to a lizard tattoo on his penis. A London train operator claimed the 28 year-old was drunk when he flashed her. When asked if he had any "distinguishing marks" the woman said, "No." Barry then revealed that he has a lizard tattoo on his penis. Before being reminded he was under oath Barry had wanted to claim the tattoo was seven inches long instead of two.

Greatest Bar Trick EVER!

Someone got his ass kicked

What the Hell Theatre - 7/13

Mark White was recently arrested after he robbed a Saginaw, Michigan bank and then tried to hitch a ride with an undercover officer. Detective Scott Jackson was driving along when the thief flagged him down and asked him for a ride. He opened his car door and attempted to get in because another police officer was gaining ground on him.

The Live Oak, Florida police recently arrested Alejandro Del Carpico for stabbing his best friend. Cops say he and Sylvester Hernandez were lounging at his home when they began to argue over what music they wanted to listen to. Del Carpico got fed up, grabbed a knife and stabbed Hernandez. Police said his injuries did not appear life-threatening.

Alexa Longueira is recovering from falling through a New York city manhole. The 15 year-old was texting and walking along a Staten Island street when she fell into the sewer. She says there were no orange cones or signs to warn her about the open hole. Longueira suffered deep cuts and bruises and says she now has nightmares about falling. Her family may sue the city for negligence.