The Donald for President

What the Hell Theater - 4/28/11

After 19 Years In college, an Iowa woman will finally graduate at the age of 48. Kathy Vitzthum took her first class at Iowa State University in 1992. She took, on average, one class per semester and 19 years later she's graduating suma cum laude with a bachelor's degree in accounting. "I've been doing this so long, I don't think I'll know how not to do it," Vitzthum said. "It almost gives me anxiety to not know what I'm doing this summer." It took Vitzthum so long to finish because she was juggling a full-time job and two kids, who were six and eight when she started.

What the Hell Theater - 4/26

You can get soda, potato chips and candy bars from a vending machine, so why not booze? Pennsylvania's Liquor Control Board is close to rolling out a pilot program to allow sales of hard liquor at wine vending kiosks inside grocery stores. The agency plans to test the sales in about five or 10 locations, possibly starting in the next few weeks. Some of the few dozen machines now operating are selling only a couple of bottles per day. A board official says what kind of hard-liquor products will be available through the machines hasn't been decided. In order to buy the adult beverages, buyers have to swipe their ID and breathe into a sensor to make sure they're old enough and sober enough to purchase alcohol.

Improv Motorized Wheelchair

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What the Hell Theater - 4/25

Colorado police said a teenager marking the marijuana-celebrating holiday 4/20 crashed into a deputy's patrol car while under the influence of the drug. Boulder police said the 17-year-old driver of a Pontiac Grand Prix was leaving a 4/20 event at the University of Colorado Wednesday and struck an empty Boulder County Sheriff's Office patrol car while the deputy was directing traffic. Police said no one was injured in the crash but the teenager was taken to Boulder Community Hospital for "issues related to marijuana use." The teenager is facing tickets for driving under the influence of drugs and reckless driving.

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What the Hell Theater - 4/22

A Florida woman said the iPhone app she created uses games to prevent people from sending drunk text messages they would later regret. Samantha Deeter contacted an app development company with her idea and they made her a partner in the creation of the Textalyzer app. Deeter said users of the app create "forbidden" lists of people likely to receive drunk text messages and their phone then forces them to play a series of four games to send the message. If the user fails the games, they are asked in 12 hours if they still want to send the message. The user can also program in reminders of why they might not want to text the intended recipients.

Police in Naperville, Illinois, say a man told them he fell asleep with an escort in his home and awoke to find his cell phone, laptop and $800 cash among the items missing. The man called police Saturday and said he had fallen asleep about 1 a.m. with the escort still in his apartment. He awoke later in the morning to find her gone with his belongings. The man said his driver's license, credit card and Social Security card also had disappeared. The man admitted he hired the escort from a website, but said they "did not engage in any sexual activity."

Firefighters in Manchester, New Hampshire, were called to a parking lot when a woman attempting to retrieve keys from a friend's car got wedged in the sunroof. Firefighters said when they arrived at the Walgreen's parking lot about 6:45 p.m. Monday they found the woman stuck up to her waist in the Saab's sunroof. The woman told firefighters she had been trying to retrieve her friend's keys from the vehicle. Firefighters said they tried opening the doors but instead armed the security system, locking the woman in place. They were eventually able to squeeze the sunroof open and free her using a portable airbag. The woman, who complained of minor breathing difficulties, was checked and released at the scene.

What the Hell Theater - 4/21

A 20-year-old Montana woman has admitted using her future father-in-law's credit card to ring up nearly $6,000 in unauthorized charges, including things for her wedding. The man said his card was stolen and used to make more than 50 transactions last fall, including more than $1,600 for the motel where his son was married. The bride has plead guilty. A plea deal would give the woman a six-year deferred sentence, $500 fine and restitution.

What the Hell Theater - 4/20

Oregon police said a 6-year-old boy who took his family's van to go buy some food was not injured when he crashed head-on into a pickup truck. Oregon state troopers responded to a call Sunday morning about a crash. They arrived to discover the boy had been driving his mother's 1996 Plymouth Voyager. The boy told troopers he had taken the van and a roll of pennies from his apartment because he was hungry and wanted to buy some food. The driver of the pickup was treated for minor injuries. Police said the investigation is ongoing and child welfare officials are involved.

What the Hell Theater - 4/19

A pharmacist in Pascagoula, Mississippi, says burglars got a surprise when they broke into his business to steal the narcotic pain medication Lortab - he had replaced the pills with beans. Pharmacist Mac Clark works at Fred's Drug Store and said the store has been broken into several times in the past six months, and each time the burglars stole Lortab. So he decided he needed a decoy and put kidney beans in a large Lortab bottle. Around 6 a.m. Wednesday, the burglars returned. The only thing stolen was the Lortab bottles filled with beans.

A 15-year-old Floridian will start her freshman year at MIT, thanks to perfect SAT scores in math and physics. Jennifer Tilton, Suncoast Community High School's current valedictorian, says her intelligence just comes naturally. She started kindergarten when she was 4 and skipped first and fifth grades. She started high school when she was just 11. She says she has no regrets about skipping grades and is a normal teenager - wearing flip flops to school and carrying an iPhone everywhere she goes.

What the Hell Theater - 4/18

Officials with a Charlotte, North Carolina, children's library said a man and woman were banned from all county libraries after being caught having sex in the facility. Police said the 20-year-old man and 18-year-old woman were caught in the act by a library worker and a security officer in the children's library's teen lounge. There were no children in the area at the time.  The couple has been banned from all Charlotte Library buildings.

A Windermere, Florida, man whose wife's car had been stolen said he was shocked to see the vehicle in front of him when he stopped at a red light. Ben Gaskill and his family returned home from a trip to find their home had been broken into and the his wife's 2005 Hyundai Sonata stolen. On his way to work Monday he stopped at a red light and recognized a familiar flower sticker in the rear window of the vehicle in front of him. He called 911 and directed deputies to the stolen vehicle's location. Deputies arrested three 17-year-olds and a 16-year-old in connection with the case.

What the Hell Theater - 4/15

If you're going to steal a car you might not want to ask the cops for help with gas. Officers in West Fargo, North Dakota, busted a young man who wanted a gas voucher. Assistant Chief Mike Reitan said the 19-year-old showed up at a police station looking for a gas voucher. The department works with a local charity to provide help with gas in emergencies. The suspect told police he had to get to a funeral. Reitan said the car the young man was driving had been reported stolen.