Balls Drop

Christmas Memories to forget!

Santa grabs sack...

Classy!

What did you get for Christmas?

This guy got a KICK ASS Santa Sweater, that he'll never EVER wear again. Ever. What did you get that sucked?

Comment Below.

You can include links to pictures.

Who Would You Rather? - Hanukkah Edition

Who Would You Rather? - Christmas Edition

We you THIS excited today?

Christmas Shootout!

Beauty or Butterface?

What the Hell Theatre - 12/23

According to an Internet report, the average Christmas tree contains 30,000 mites and insects. U.S. scientists recently examined several trees and found 400 different types of bugs including spiders, ants, roaches, centipedes and caterpillars.






A Tavares, Florida high school teacher was arrested yesterday after he kissed a 15 year-old student, grabbed her breast and told her that he loved her. John Peter Salamon assaulted the unidentified girl at Tavares High School, where he teaches.



The London police are looking for a young girl and an older man who have been scamming people out of money by Christmas caroling. The two, who claim they're from the famed St Luke’s Church, knock on doors before singing “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” and asking for cash.






A London milkman, named Robert Holding, will be sentenced on February 6th for selling marijuana to the elderly. He says the drug "was for elderly people who had aches and pains". Holding kept his daily deliveries inside an egg carton and was able to build his 17-person clientele through word of mouth.

979X Bar Exam with Uncle Butch

Hooker or a Cop?

Hooker or Cop

What Santa does the other 364

Thundercats THE MOVIE: Fake!?

It took over 1 year of editing to make this FAKE movie trailer for the "Thundercats Movie". Genius or No Social Life? You make the call.

979X Holiday Cards

Send to a friend

What the Hell Theatre - 12/22

Maryland high schoolers have been using Montgomery county's new Speed Camera Program to prank their friends and enemies. Cops say the jokers Xerox license plates before purposely driving through red lights. The plate's true owner then receives a $40 citation in the mail. A person "wins" the 'Speed Camera Pimping Game' when his or her victim racks up enough points to have their license suspended.


Bristol Palin's future mother-in-law, Sherry Johnston, got busted in an undercover drug raid on Friday. Alaska State Troopers charged her with six felony counts of misconduct, involving a controlled substance. Sarah Palin is refusing to comment.






Shane Sartin recently used Christmas lights to escape from a Webster County, Missouri jail. The 17-year-old was in the exercise area when he opened a third floor window, tied the string of lights to some equipment and began climbing down the side of the building. He injured his back after the string of lights snapped and he fell to the ground. Sartin was arrested a short time later.



British doctors are treating at least 10 people a week for Wii related injuries. Dr Dev Mukerjee, of Broomfield Hospital, says, “There has been a 100 per cent increase in patients complaining of Wii-itis. I’ve seen many patients aged between eight and 13 — and I’ve seen adults. People who are double-jointed are most likely to suffer from Wii-knee — and in extreme cases the knee cap can be dislocated or can even pop out.”






The Naples, Florida police recently arrested a Wal Mart Santa for making lewd comments towards women. 63 year-old Donald Bohn questioned one woman about her virginity while another customer told cops he talked to her about his genitals and pleasing women. An officer found Bohn singing "Like A Virgin" in the customer service area. He told him, “I might talk to a lot of people. I’m a lonely man. I don’t have a lot of friends around here. I have a lovely wife, but I don’t know what to do with myself during the day.”

I MET SANTA!

Because I was on the "NICE" list every year SANTA himself came to my family party. Not a sucky mall Santa, or the creepy dude who calls himself "Santa" and just wants you to sit on his lap outside of Wal Mart in July. The REAL Santa.

So to everyone who told me that Santa wasn't real, In your FACE! I have the picture to prove it, Bitch!

McKay's Bar Exam #3

Good Advice with McKay - Todd from Pittston

Todd wrote a letter asking McKay what he should do about his girlfriend who he THINKS is cheating on him...

979X Bar Exam - with JULIE

We find the drunkest people in NEPA... then give them a POP QUIZ!

What the Hell Theatre - 12/19

Kills Gingevitis and Brain Cells!
The Jacksonville, Florida police recently arrested Robert Joseph Barie for getting drunk on Listerine. The 56 year-old locked himself in a Wal Mart bathroom before guzzling the mouthwash. Employees dialed 911 after he refused to exit a stall and pay for the Listerne. Cops forced the stall door open before dragging Barie to a squad car and then off to a detox facility.

Don't Dial Angry
An Ottawa judge has ordered Marie-Ève Dean to undergo anger management counseling after making 10,000 crank calls to Montreal's 911 emergency line. Her former brother-in-law, Salim Omar Sheik Abuu, also made calls because he was angry about his lack of progress in a child-custody battle and wanted revenge against the legal system.




Goth Kitty
A Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania pet groomer is in trouble for selling gothic cats on eBay. Humane officers launched an investigation after a man saw the ad and then went to the home to see the kittens, which had ear, neck and tail piercings. All of the animals were removed. Charges are likely.



Grand Theft Funeral
The West Park, Florida police recently arrested Johnny Silfrain for stealing a hearse during a funeral. The 18 year-old took a joyride before stopping at his house and asking relatives if they wanted to go for a ride. When deputies tried to take Silfrain into custody, he drove toward one of them before getting shot in the leg. Silfrain was taken into custody while trying to return the hearse to the funeral home.

Good and Bad uses of the backside

Beer Holder - Good

Coin Slot - Bad

McKay's Bar Exam #2

What the Hell Theatre Stories - 12/18

COASTER CONTRACTIONS
Issy McMurdo recently went into labor after enduring several 53-foot drops on a 50 mph London roller coaster. The 21 year-old says she had no idea she was pregnant until she went to the hospital with stomach pains following her ride. "It was a massive shock when they gave me a scan and told me I was in labor. I simply had no idea I was pregnant. I just thought I'd put on a little bit of weight. Then when my ankles swelled up I assumed it was because I was on my feet all the time at the pub."


DOLLAR MENU BANDIT
The San Antonio police recently arrested a man who robbed a McDonald's. When the thief first asked the cashier for his wallet the man laughed at him and told him to get a job. The suspect then whipped out a box cutter, stole the wallet and was caught shortly thereafter.

20 Best Mug Shots of 2008

This is #2... click for all 20

What the Hell Theatre Stories - 12/17

The Pharr, Texas police recently arrested a 55 year-old man after a 9 year-old girl wrote a letter to Santa where she asked for the perv to stop touching her and her sister. A monitor from Cesar Chavez Elementary School called the police, who interviewed the girl before arresting Andrees Cantu. If convicted, he faces up to 99 years in prison.
Scott Zollinger recently resigned as coach of the Lancaster High School (Ohio) girls basketball team after he accidentally sent an inappropriate text message to his players. The message was intended for a former player. It read: "Didn't c any tan lines in that pic. U were layin out on the nude beach weren't u! Have a great day. Iluvmshhh."

More and more people under the age of 40 are being buried with their cell phones. When Manhattan criminal defense attorney John Jacobs died, his wife placed a fully charged phone in his casket so she could call him. She also had his cell phone number carved onto his headstone so others could call him. “Some people will call the deceased just as they’re lowering the coffin into the ground. It’ll be prearranged and you’ll hear a faint ring. It’s like the new version of ‘Taps’ for people who are identified as being on the phone all the time.”

Duuuuuuuuuuuuude! Wolverine Movie

Banned in the U.K.!!!!

979X Bar Exam - 979X Company Xmas Party

We find drunk people... then quiz them. Hilarity Ensues

Bush Shoe Throwing Game!

They already have a GAME about the Bush Shoe throwing incident!
Click to play

What the Hell Theatre Stories - 12/16

The Ft Walton Beach, Florida police recently arrested Jacklyn Hoff for attacking her boyfriend with a butcher knife. The 21 year-old was upset that another woman had called his cell phone. Hoff's mother disarmed before the police arrived. Hoff's boyfriend locked himself in a bedroom and hid until the coast was clear.

The Port St Lucie, Florida police recently arrested Matthew Rubin for throwing a sandwich at his girlfriend. The 20 year-old hit her in the face before fleeing. He denies her claims that he also hit her over the head.

Five Key Largo girls, ages 12 and 13, were arrested Saturday afternoon after they were caught stealing 100 stocking stuffer gifts from Kmart. The juveniles took bras, nail polish, toothbrushes, hair products, boxers, make-up and deodorant before store guards saw them on their surveillance cameras. The girls also had items from Payless Shoes and the Bealls Outlet Store.

He's SCARY!!!

Saving Abel Guitar Winner!

Saving Abel Guitar Winner from Heils
Josh from Lake Ariel with runner up Drew

Want your own Coors Light autographed guitar?
Wednesday @ Hops & Barley in Luzerne @10 - Rev Theory Guitar
Thursday @ River St Jazz Cafe in Plains @ 10 - Saliva Guitar
Friday @ Old Thyme Charlies @ 10 - Avenged Sevenfold Guitar
Saturday @ Tinks @ 10 - Theory of a Deadman, Candlebox, Saliva and More

Been bed-wetting ever since...

My friend John sent me this...

What the Hell Theatre Stories - 12/15

A 73 year-old Australia man recently had to call for help after getting his manhood caught in a pipe. Firefighters used a pneumatic saw to free him. The crew couldn't remove the pipe by normal methods because of the extent of the swelling. The critical operation took more than 90 minutes.

(Not Actual Pipe)
Shirley Good was recently arrested for assaulting a Port St. Lucie, Florida police officer. Detectives went to her home after a 911 dispatcher received a hang up call. Good was drunk when she answered the door and began yelling at the cops. She kicked Officer Tony Elliott before violently twisting his manhood. Good's parents said they called 911 because she was intoxicated and out of control following a breakup with her boyfriend.

Sonia Ringoir has been arrested for selling her newborn twin boys to pay for her $18,000 liposuction surgery. The Belgian police busted her after her estranged husband found out she sold their kids to a friend. Since Belgium has no law banning the sale of children, Ringoir has been charged with “degrading treatment” of the twins. If convicted, she could face between one month and five years in jail. Sonia used the cash to purchase a gastric band.

(Not actual twins)

Guitar Hero: Metallica will allow players to jam on drums, guitar, vocals, bass as well as double kick pedals. Songs to be featured include:

"Enter Sandman"
"For Whom The Bell Tolls"
"Fuel" * "Hit The Lights"
"King Nothing"
"Master of Puppets"
"No Leaf Clover"
"Nothing Else Matters"
"Sad But True"
"The Unforgiven"
"Where I May Roam"

Jim Bone's Running of the Santas

Free Printable OJ Poster!

HELLLOOOO Nicole!

Did someone forget to tell Nicole Kidman that her dress was see through? Yes, and we thank them for that.

Who throws a Shoe?

Need to get motivated to start your week?
Push Play...

Top Secret Show #12

WOW, big show... and this might be the first time that the PLACE where we have the show
is just as big, or bigger than the band.
Sunday (12/14) Top Secret Show 12 with Saliva @ the Orange County Choppers Studio
Click here for directions and info

Christmas Party Fun

As the 979X staff heads to the dreaded Company Christmas party... just know... I'll have blackmail pictures to share with you all on Monday!

Real or fake?

Can this POSSIBLY be real? Or is it another elaborate you tube fake?
Comment Below

What the Hell Theatre Stories - 12/12

The Senate has killed the auto bailout bill. Warren, Michigan strip clubs have slashed their lapdance prices by 50%. The clubs, which are located down the street from GM and Chrysler, were forced to lower their prices because of layoffs and the poor economy. Drink prices have also been slashed since the bailout was announced.

A Dearborn, Michigan man had to call the police after he handcuffed his wife to a bed and then lost his keys. Cops used a universal key to free the woman. Sgt. Ray Patrick said the situation "more of an intimate relationship than an unlawful imprisonment."

The Joliet, Illinois police recently arrested four teens for robbing a pizza deliveryman. When the driver approached a snow-covered home the teens brandished bats and took his pies and $200. Police followed their tracks to a house and found two pizza bixes, the pizza man's debit card and a baseball bat.

Bettie Page has died...

Bettie Page has died @ 85, before she went, she wanted to wish you
all a Merry Christmas... so she posed for this picture... 53 years ago.
Picture from Playboy 1955

Santa, Satan... same thing, right?

Lets Talk Trade...

Do you have a sweater like this? I need an UGLY X-Mas Sweater
To wear to the 979X Company X-mas Party...
I've searched all over NEPA and I can't find anything that is UGLY enough.
Do you have something like this for me to wear? If you do, email MCKAY@979X.com
I'll trade you some new music for an ugly sweater.

Photoshopped Face!?

New GQ cover... is it me or does her face not fit right on her body?
Is this photoshopped? Comment Below.
Pictures from GQ

What the Hell Theatre Stories - 12/11

A New Jersey mall Santa is recovering from being bit by a bobcat. Jonathon Bebbington was playing St Nick at a PetsMart store when a woman placed the large cat on his lap. It got spooked by some barking dogs and savaged his hand and wrist.

A Honolulu highway was covered in underwear and lingerie yesterday morning after 8 boxes of clothing fell off the back of a Gap delivery truck. Bras in different colors and sizes covered a quarter mile stretch. No accidents occurred as a result of the mishap.

The Ouachita Parish Sheriff's Office recently arrested Brittany Phillips for stabbing her 35 year-old boyfriend in the mouth a knife. The 19-year-old Louisiana woman became upset when Todd Stewart refused to make love to her and left their bedroom for the couch. She followed him out to the living room where she stabbed him in the lip with a knife.

XboX 360 Winner

Here is our XboX 360 winner, LISA from Wilkes-Barre with her opened mouthed son...

Blue Screen of Death!

Aren't computers fun? While @ the Mall @ Steamtown tonight
I noticed a video game... that was sporting with the Windows BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH!!!


Whoops, better restart in safemode

No Christmas this year....

What the Hell Theatre Stories - 12/10/08

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Creepy Picture of the Day

Notice any HAND gestures?

I know you can write a better caption for this picture... right? Hit COMMENT and fire away... best one will be posted here.

WHOOPS!

<---------- This is Liz... Liz should be happy... She just experienced her "first time". Why is Liz so sad? Because she sent a text message, about her "first time".... to her dad. By accident. Ouch Liz. Take a look at the actual text below.