Tuesday, March 31, 2009
What the Hell Theatre - 3/31
Miroslav Miljici has been jailed for six years for trying to kill his mother in law with an anti-tank missile launcher. The Bosnian native became upset with her for turning his wife against him. Miroslav peppered his mother in law's house with a machine gun after failing to kill her with the launcher. The unidentified woman survived both attacks without any injuries.
A Polish lawmaker claims fermented apples caused him to fail a Breathalyzer test. Marek Latas says he ate the fruit before driving. "I am diabetic, I ate a few apples before driving. I have been involved in no accident, I underwent a routine roadside check. I was confident there was no chance I had alcohol in my blood." In Poland, the legal limit for alcohol when driving is 0.2 units.
Monday, March 30, 2009
What the Hell Theatre - 3/30
A Website, claiming to offer free year-round tanning through computer screens, has logged more than a million hits. Computertan.com is bogus and was set up to promote London's Karen Clifford Skin Cancer Charity. When users click to access a "free five-minute tan trial", bars from a sun bed appear on the screen with a message warning "Don't be fooled - UV Exposure Can Kill". The site then goes on to warn the public of the threat posed by skin cancer.
The Washington state police recently arrested William Lee Bieber for placing meth in his wife's water. She was nursing their 3-month-old baby when he slipped the drugs in her drink because he wanted to "give her energy to clean the house." 
ShamWow spokesperson Vince Shlomi was recently arrested for punching a prostitute. He met Lenea Harris at a Miami nightclub before bringing her back to his hotel room where he paid her $1,000 for "straight sex." Shlomi told police he was kissing Harris when she bit down on his tongue and refused to let go. That's when he punched her and ran to the lobby to call 911Friday, March 27, 2009
Fainting Goodness
Fast forward to :43 seconds... Imagine your this girl, your only time ever on TV, and this is what you do!
What the Hell Theatre - 3/27
The Tampa police recently arrested Evon Cavett for abusing their 911 system. At 2:30 a.m. she called 911 to report that her roommate had stolen her beer. When cops arrived, they found her drinking a 40-ounce bottle of Bud Light. Cavett told officers she hadn't called them. She then admitted she'd consumed six 16-ounce beers and planned to drink more. Cavett then called 911 again at 2:46 a.m. and said, "I called y'all about five or six hours ago 'cuz a drug deal was going down." The same officers returned to her apartment to warn her about misusing the 911 system. They then left before Cavett called 911 again at 3:02 a.m. and said, "Come arrest me!" And they did.
The city of Mansfield, England is using fluorescent pink lights to stop teens from loitering. The lighting is normally used by dermatologists to show pimples and acne blemishes. Marianne Down, from the Layton Burroughs Residents' Association, says the lights are working. "We used to have quite a problem with large groups of young people hanging around in the underpasses drinking, which felt quite intimidating, but the pink lights have really made a difference. The groups aren't there as much and it feels safer walking through there now, particularly at night." Thursday, March 26, 2009
Do you even read this?
OK, so we try and update our blogs every few days... or weeks if you're Jim Bone. But even Jim Bone, who hates computers more than anyone I know, updates his blog every few weeks.
But how about Dan Taylor... Sunday January 18th @ 1:51 was the last time he bothered to share anything with the 979X world?!
Really Dan... no funny quips, no goofy pictures, no good video's from your nights @ Hardware Bar as the DJ?
People... I bet he doesn't even read the other DJ's blogs, so he won't even know I told you to do this... So, if everyone who reads my blog drops Dan 1 email... eventually, maybe, JUST maybe he'll update his blog?
If you're bored, send him a few hundred and drive him nuts. Have a field day.
But how about Dan Taylor... Sunday January 18th @ 1:51 was the last time he bothered to share anything with the 979X world?!
Really Dan... no funny quips, no goofy pictures, no good video's from your nights @ Hardware Bar as the DJ?
People... I bet he doesn't even read the other DJ's blogs, so he won't even know I told you to do this... So, if everyone who reads my blog drops Dan 1 email... eventually, maybe, JUST maybe he'll update his blog?
Dan@979X.com
If you're bored, send him a few hundred and drive him nuts. Have a field day.
What the Hell Theatre - 3/26
A judge in Illinois has ruled it was not illegal for a man to ask to tickle other people's kids in a park. Charles Douglas was charged with disorderly conduct after he approached parents at a park and asked if he could do the "tickle monster" to their kids. Associate Judge Kyle Napp ruled Wednesday that his remarks were protected as free speech by the First Amendment.In other news, judges in Illinois are retarded.
A pilot from Tunisia has been sentenced to 10 years in jail for praying rather than following emergency procedures during a plane crash. His jet went down off the coast of Sicily leaving 16 people dead. A fuel-gauge malfunction sparked the crash, but in a state of panic the pilot prayed out loud rather than taking measures to save passengers.
A London high school recently sent a letter to the parents of a deceased teen that said she needs to improve her attendance or she won't be allowed to go to the prom. The girl's mother, Margaret Gillan, says, "I screamed when I first saw it. If they want her to attend that much I'll take Megan's remains. It's disgusting. Megan would have loved going to the prom. She planned to go with a group of friends, she was really looking forward to it." A school spokesman apologized and blamed the incident on a "software error."
Penny Batkin recently received a $145 parking ticket while resuscitating her disabled son. The London mom pulled over on the side of the road after noticing that her 4-year-old Freddie was turning blue and gasping for air in the back seat. She saved his life just as an officer placed the fine on her windshield and walked away. Batkin plans to fight the ticket.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
What the Hell Theatre - 3/25
Kylene Nelson is in trouble for teaching while drunk. The 42 year-old Tampa-area language arts teacher had a blood alcohol level of 0.26 when she began dancing and grinding on her kids. One student said Nelson lost her pants before saying, 'If you don't dance with me, you guys all fail.' "We told her, 'Miss Nelson, please pull up your pants', and she did, but then they fell down again and she held them there." Nelson eventually fled before cops found her passed out at a nearby community center.
Helen Sun was recently arrested for handcuffing herself to her husband. The 37 year-old cuffed herself to him as he slept before biting him on his torso and arms as he phoned for help. Robert Drawbough begged for Connecticut police officers to free him and says in the past, his wife hired private investigators to follow him. The two are divorcing after 8 years of marriage. Sun says she cuffed herself to her husband because she wanted to try and reconcile with him.
Yvonne Pampellonne was recently arrested for stealing breast implants. The 30 year-old stole someone else's identity to get a credit card, which she then used to pay for liposuction and breast implants. She missed her follow-up appointments and fled before employees at L.A.'s Pacific Center For Plastic Surgery were able to identify her from a photograph line-up. Yvonne has been charged with commercial burglary, grand theft and identity theft.
Penelope Jordan was recently arrested for collecting her dead mother's Social Security checks. She told the Sebastian, Florida police she stored her mother's mummified remains in a spare bedroom because she couldn’t afford burial expenses. The government estimates that Penelope has illegally cashed over $60,000 since her mother died in 2003.
Kid draws junk on parents roof
A kid got busted for drawing something on the roof of his parents' Million Dollar home. He was caught when a helicopter kept hovering so it could get some photos.
Click here for the whole story... and picture goodness
Click here for the whole story... and picture goodness
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
What the Hell Theatre - 3/24
Kurby and Krystal McDonald recently got married at a White Castle in Kentucky. The two met at the restaurant last year when they started working together. Kurby says Krystal's mother set them up. "I decided it would be a good idea. This is where we met and I asked her about it and she said no way." Burgers and fries were served.
A Denver parrot, named Willie, is being hailed as a hero for saving the life of a choking baby. Back in November, he and his owner, Megan Howard, were baby-sitting a toddler when he squawked, "Mama, baby". Howard ran to the bathroom where she saved the baby's life by performing the Heimlich maneuver. Yesterday, Willie received an Animal Lifesaver Award from the Red Cross.
Katya Kharitovonova has been jailed for two years for biting her husband's manhood. She invited her best friend over to watch a movie before she fell asleep leaving her and her husband alone on the couch. When Katya woke up, she found a half naked friend performing various sexual acts on her man. She smashed her with a floor lamp before biting her husband. Doctors were eventually able to stitch Mikhail back together.
Ladies have their own LANGUAGE? WTF!?
They call it the "Dude Dictionary" I say we fight back with the "Chicktionary" of our own. Any terms about chicks, comment below.
Monday, March 23, 2009
What the hell is twitter?
not 100% sure what "TWITTER" is, but im on it... literally.
Click to "follow me", whatever the hell that means...
What the Hell Theatre - 3/23
The San Francisco Chronicle reports that over the past year, the number of women applying to work at strip clubs has doubled because of the recession. Many of the ladies are out of work college grads or single mothers. Even though strip club business is down by 30% many establishments are still operating with a profit margin of 50%.
A Japanese astronaut is testing a new state-of-the-art underwear that can be worn for seven straight days aboard the International Space Station. Koichi Wakata says the underwear, which was developed by Japanese researchers, are fire-resistant and made of antibacterial polymers that absorb sweat and provide insulation. Astronauts normally change their underwear every three days.
The Orlando, Florida police arrested Christopher Brown this past weekend for assautling a police horse. Officers were clearing a crowd when Brown and his friends refused to move. He shoved an officer and then elbowed the horse, known as Officer Peanut. Brown was preparing to punch another horse in the face when cops tackled and shackled him before hauling him off to jail on two counts of battering a law-enforcement officer.
Twittering Demi's Ass!?
Guess who Twittered pictures of Demi Moore's Ass!? Ohhhhh Ashton...
Here's how it went down:
watching my wife steam my suit while wearing a bikini. I love God!
9:43 AM Mar 21st from TweetDeck
I'm not wearing the bikini she is that's what makes it so glorious
9:46 AM Mar 21st from TweetDeck
shhh don't tell wifey http://twitpic.com/2bj58
10:11 AM Mar 21st from TweetDeck
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
One of these things is NOT like the other...
It's the third girl from the left... she's WAY more tan then the
rest of them.
Friday, March 20, 2009
What the Hell Theatre - 3/20
David Senior is recovering from falling from a sixth-floor hotel balcony. The 26 year-old Spring Beaker was partying with friends in St. Petersburg, Florida when he wanted to show a woman he was not afraid of heights. The Chicagoan leaned over the edge of a railing before landing on a second-floor concrete ledge. Police believe alcohol might have been a factor in the 36-foot fall.
Cortina Wobbleton was recently charged with child abuse for taking her two young children on a crime spree. She was the getaway driver for two armed men who robbed a Pizza Hut and Sunoco station. When cops stopped Cortina's car they found the cash and stolen goods next to her kids in the backseat. The children have been turned over to their grandmother.
A 61 year-old Overland Park, Kansas man was recently arrested for being married to two at the same time. Both wives lived at the same apartment complex and almost came to blows when one found about the other and went to confront her. The unidentified gigolo married his first wife in 1987 and his second in 2006.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
What the Hell Theatre - 3/19
The Bridgeport, Connecticut police recently arrested a kindergarten teacher for forcing a student to eat his lunch from a garbage can. 67 year-old Anne O'Donnell had the boy retrieve his chicken nuggets and banana before downing them in front of her.
The Providence police recently arrested Aleyda Uceta after she punched and bit her son's principal. The 30 year-old went wild after being told her 11 year-old was being suspended for three days for refusing to go to a room for misbehaving students. Uceta was charged with assault on school officials, assault on police officers and resisting arrest.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
What the Hell Theatre - 3/18
Two Manheim Township, Pennsylvania women were arrested this past weekend for beating up a man at a Chuck E. Cheese. The two went wild and threw soda and punches after the victim asked them to keep their loud profanity to a minimum. A manager was struck in the face while trying to break up the brawl.
Jerry Jalava, who recently lost his finger in a motorcycle, has replaced it with a new prosthetic finger that features a built-in USB drive. The Helsinki, Finland computer programmer says, I simply put my finger into the USB port of a computer and pull out the hand if I need it. Afterward the finger goes back on."
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
What the Hell Theatre - 3/17
The government is warning senior citizens about a new Spring Break scam where con artists call grandparents and ask for money. They start the call by saying, "Grandpa, it's me, your grandchild, " and then wait for the grandparent to answer, "(name of Spring Breaker), is that you?" The con artist then says he or she needs them to wire money to cover a car crash, an arrest, border taxes or medical needs.
A Japanese fire station almost burned to the ground after a firefighter forgot to turn off the stove before leaving for an emergency call. A Nagoya City Fire Department official says 10 fire trucks from other stations put out the fire. "We are an institute that should be in a position to educate people about fire, so we are extremely sorry that such an incident happened."
A Russian man was recently arrested for shooting a clerk at an adult toy store. The unidentified suspect opened fire after the salesperson refused to refund his money on a pack of anti-impotence pills. The clerk is expected to survive and says the man was upset because the pills failed to work.
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