What the Hell Theatre - 5/29

An understaffed health clinic in Prague is offering free breast implants, liposuction and tummy tucks as a signing bonus. Clinic manager Jiri Schweitzer says the offer has been a huge success because the plastic surgeries are three times the monthly wage for a nurse working at the clinic.

Joseph Northington is facing 7 years to life in prison for robbing a Columbia, South Carolina bank. The police arrested the 27 year-old after he bragged about the crime on his My Space page by posting the message: "On tha run for robbin a bank Love all of yall." Northington took $4,000.

A 42 year-olf Andersonville, Tenneess man was recently arrested for burglarizing a home in nothing more than a thong. Deputies followed his footprints to an abadoned farmhouse where he was hiding.

Brett Becker was recently arrested for setting up an account on Playboy.com with his neighbor's stolen identity. His 86 year-old victim went to the Port Richey, Florida police after $58.75 was withdrawn from her bank account. Cops investigated and found that Becker had been stealing from her since 2006. He withdrew $2,175.06 without her knowing.

BK Wake up Call

EMBED-Burger King Uses Air horn to Wake Up Dude - Watch more free videos

Bikini Backflip Fail

Bikini Babe Fails At Backflip - Watch more Funny Videos

What the Hell Theatre - 5/28

An instructor from the Connecticut Police Academy was recently arrested for biting a co-worker. Francis Woodruff upset Rochelle Wyler when he called her a clerk. She responded by saying, "Whatever Woody, bite me." Woodruff then bit her left arm before she was able to pull away.

Four fifth-graders from Wisconsin's Tullar Elementary School recently won the Wisconsin Stock Market Game by turning $100,000 of hypothetical money into more than $203,000. Annie Czech, Bailey Morton, Jen Sagehorn and Sam Weiler invested exclusively in 15 financial stocks, of which 13 proved profitable. Morgan says, "It felt amazing. It felt like I was getting a quick sugar rush." The students doubled their money in less than 10 weeks.

A 17 year-old Medford, Oregon boy was recently arrested for breaking and entering. The unidentified teen snuck out of his house before using a car jack to hoist open a neighbor's garage door. As he was sliding under the door it fell and pinned him against the ground. His mother called 911 after she discovered he was missing. Firefighters had to break into the house to get to the garage door opener.

Want to go to the petting zoo Tommy?

What the Hell Theatre - 5/27

Trahan Pires was recently fined $500 for assaulting a Chuck E Cheese mascot from Fairhaven, Mass. The 34 year-old ripped off the mascot's head because he thought he had pinned his 11-year-old son against a video game. Jessie Carvalho, the man inside the mouse suit, told police he extended his arms to get through a crowd of children that were trying to knock him over.

Divorce lawyers and suspicious spouses are now using GPS tracking units to monitor cheaters. Many are concealing them in a glove box or a seat pocket. Placing a GPS tracking unit in a vehicle is legal as long as you own it. 88% of divorce attorneys rely on electronic data as evidence.

The Tampa police recently arrested Adrian Kegler for allowing his 12-year-old son to be his designated driver. The fifth grader crashed his GMC Yukon into another car as he was making a right turn. The driver of the other vehicle is 8 months pregnant and was taken to a hospital as a precaution. Kegler was charged with child neglect and allowing an unauthorized operator to drive his vehicle.

China's Lichang Middle School is helping students relieve stress by allowing them to attack punching bag dummies that look like their teachers. Vice principal Meng Fanxiang says, "Adolescent students may have a lot of problems and be under great pressure from studies. It's better for them to release it within the school than other places. I don't care if they beat up my dummy."

Drink on my friend!

Cameron's House for Sale

Remember Ferris Bueller's Day Off? Cameron had a CRAZY house with a garage suspended over a ravine. Got 2 million laying around the house? Buy it now, *Ferrari not included

How was your Memorial Day weekend?

What the Hell Theatre - 5/26

Heather Zeo, a teacher at North Penn High School in Lansdale, PA, was recently arrested for using Facebook to have sex with two underage male students. The 37-year-old mother sent "friend requests" to both men before having sex with them in her classroom and minivan. She got busted after one of the boys went to the police.
Here's her webpage

The Tampa police recently cited Katelyn Blaylock for careless driving after she crashed into a police officer while driving and texting. She slammed into the cop after running a red light. Blaylock was in the process of ditching class when the accident occurred.

Deb Jackson recently burned down her London home so her cheating husband would be left with nothing. The 45 year-old didn't care that she was going to receive the home and a large sum of cash because she wanted to burn everything that reminded her of her failed relationship. The $420,00, two story house burnt up in less than an hour. Kurt Jackson is now living out of his minivan.

If you had to pick one....

It's addicting...

Man VS Wild + Will Ferrell = Awesome!

See more funny videos and Entertainment Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Ugly Friend

What the Hell Theatre - 5/22

Dennis Hickman III recently beat his mother with a baseball bat because she refused to share her French fries with him. The 17 year-old Port Deposit, Maryland teen, who was charged with first- and second-degree assault, also slashed the tires on her car and kicked the front door, knocking it off its hinges. His mother is recovering.

Mary Kay Letourneau and her former sixth-grade lover, Vili Fualaau, are hosting a "Hot for Teacher" night at a Seattle nightclub. Mike Morris, owner of Fuel Sports Eats & Beats, said this is the third time the husband and wife have hosted a "Hot for Teacher" night at the nightclub. The event begins at 9:30 p.m. on Saturday.

Australia's health department recently cracked down on scores of lazy restaurant operators. The owners of the Jemes Fish Market were fined $660 for storing live crabs in a toilet. Primary Industries Minister Ian Macdonald says he was shocked when he saw the crabs splashing around.

The Memphis police are searching for a shoplifting suspect who used a baby as a weapon against a Wal-Mart security guard. The unknown woman threw the child at the guard before it was dropped and hit the ground. She then picked it up and threw it at a good samaritan as she was running out the door. The baby's mother was in the bathroom and had no idea what was happening. The child was treated and released at the scene.

Mommy, what is doggie doing to Grandma?

Dog Attacks Grandma - Watch more Funny Videos

What the Hell Theatre - 2/21

The London police recently rushed to a home after they received an emergency call and heard wimpering in the background followed by a man saying, "Come out or else - I'm warning you". When they arrived at the house, they found Bailey, a 14-month-old golden retriever, running around in the yard with a cordless phone in his mouth. He had inadvertently dialled 999 (911) while attempting to keep his grip on the phone.

New York artist Ariana Page Russell has a dermatological disorder that makes her skin puff up immediately at the slightest scratch (which renders her, she says, the "human Etch A Sketch"). She now scratches herself in deliberate patterns, to create artistic designs, which she photographs and offers for sale. Russell says she must work quickly, for her skin usually returns to normal after about an hour.

Reporter gives header...

Female Reporter Hit With Ball - Watch more Funny Videos

Greatest Video Ever

See more funny videos and Music Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Subtle... look it up junior

What the Hell Theatre - 5/20

The Hernando County, Florida Sheriffs recently arrested Brittany Gariepy for shoplifting. Some 7-11 employees called 911 after seeing her leave the store with a bulge in her pants. When confronted by an officer, the 20 year-old denied any wrongdoing until he spotted an empty wrapper for a $1.19 Big Mama pickled sausage on her front seat. Gariepy then confessed she stuffed the 2.4 ounce pork product down her pants.

The Iowa City, Iowa police recently arrested a man on drug possession charges. Officers had him stopped for a traffic violation when they smelled weed and noticed his mouth was green. Seconds later, he gagged, and a medium sized bag of marijuana popped out of his mouth. The man was charged with preventing apprehension and obstructing prosecution and third-offense drug possession.

Amazing Back Flip!

Goofy-Looking Kid Performs Amazing Backflip - Watch more Funny Videos

No man, looks totally natural.

What the Hell Theatre - 5/19

Allen Ferry is ok after smashing his Cadillac into a mailbox, a street sign and a utility pole. The 45 year-old Erie, PA man was on his way home when he lost control of his car because he was swatting at a spider. He was not injured, but was cited for the crash.

The Springfield, Ohio police recently arrested Danica Wallace and Jeremy Welch for having sex in their car in front of their two small children. Cops found them on the side of the road with their pants off. Welch, who was "extremely intoxicated," told the officers, "We got horny and just wanted to f***!!" Wallace was charged with drunk driving, child endangerment, and possession of drug paraphernalia. Welch was charged with public indecency.

Ut ohhh. Time to Download

Own Rock History

97.9X has a bunch of cool stuff... that we're auctioning off for charity.
Think of it like a kick a$$ garage sale, with things from your favorite 97.9X Bands.
Like the Bass pictured above, signed by Avenged Sevenfold.
Click here for the site

What the Hell Theatre - 5/18

Brandon Ryzner-Meredith was recently arrested after trying to rob a Newton, New Jersey grocery store in a Snuggie. Witnesses called the police after they saw the 18 year-old stacking crates to gain access through a window. Ryzner-Meredith told cops he wore the Snuggie to "conceal himself."

John Szwalla was recently arrested after trying to rob a Winston Salem, North Carolina store with a banana. The 17 year-old walked in and told owner Bobby Ray Mabe he had a gun under his coat and wanted all of his money. That's when a customer jumped Szwalla and held him until deputies arrived. While they waited, Szwalla admitted he didn't have a gun before eating his banana.

A German man died on Friday after getting trapped inside a giant cauldron of soup. The victim climbed into the cauldron at the Eraso soup factory to clean it when the lid suddenly closed. Hot soup filled the vat while the man screamed for his life. A doctor later confirmed that he had been cooked to death.

How was YOUR weekend?

Quitting

Quitting, Just Do It.

Great Sign.

Swin Flu Vaccines...

What the Hell Theatre - 5/15

Two workers at Yellowstone National Park have been fired after getting busted peeing in Old Faithful. A viewer of the parks webcam called officials after watching six people walking in a restricted area. The 23-year-old man was fined $750 and placed on three years of probation.

The Connecticut police are looking for a CVS pharmacist who posted a fake sex ad on Craigslist. Jonathon Medina was upset with a customer, who filed a complaint against him so he posted her name, address and phone number in the Erotic Ads section of Craigslist. Men quickly began calling and visiting the victim's home. The Norwalk Police investigated and found that Medina stole the woman's information from a CVS computer.

Tampa's Sickles High School is refusing to recall their 2009 yearbook, which contains a picture of a 16 year-old girl's private parts. The unidentified junior says she did not wear undies on picture day because she did not want to be photographed with panty lines.

The yearbook teacher at Phoenix's Tonopah Valley High School has been placed on administrative leave for humiliating freshman Marie Gray. Her yearbook picture is adorned with the words, 'fat a$$.' Gray says, “I just feel like sitting in my room and crying." The school plans to expel the student responsible for the slur.

What the Hell Theatre - 5/14

The Tampa police recently arrested Charles William Hughes for drunk dialing a 911 operator more than 30 times in 10 minutes. Cops found him lounging on the corner with a beer in one hand and a cell phone in the other. Hughes cursed at the officers and threatened to shoot them with a .44 Magnum

Lisa Marie Garbo has opened a Long Beach, California club for the obese called Club Bounce. She says, "Club Bounce is a size-acceptance nightclub. People of larger shapes and sizes can go and feel comfortable, accepted and desired and not feel like they're second-class citizens for being overweight." She plans to open another club in Phoenix.

Fire Drill + Band Practice = Musical Goodness

Niiccce!

I love when stuff like this happens...

Does it make me evil that I love when stuff like this happens?

What the Hell Theatre - 5/13

The Unity, Maine police recently arrested Annica McGuirk for growing marijuana in her Unity College dorm room. Security guards found several plants growing there while inspecting the apartment following her move out. The 19 year-old forgot to take the potted plants with her.

Fu Shitou recently found out that his wife of 3 years is a transvestite. He met Wei Jinhua through his sister-in-law and says they never had sex because he just wanted someone to take care of him. Wei got busted during a strip search.

A Taiwanese man is recovering from being bit on his manhood by a rat snake. His friend tells the China Times, "As soon as he sat down, he suddenly felt a knife-like pain and reacted instinctively by standing up. When he looked down, he saw the big snake."